


The St Ann Street Chronicles

by Sokorra



Series: The "Quote" Prompt Series [23]
Category: NCIS: New Orleans
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, Most don't, not all chapters have character death, nothing graphic, some have light references to torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 00:56:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 34,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5986834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sokorra/pseuds/Sokorra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Collection of prompt driven drabbles of 100-500 words focused on the show NCIS: New Orleans.  Many characters, pairings and universes to be seen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. December '14 Prompts

**“You’re a veggie, I forgot. Why don’t you take a fry, they’re probably okay.”**

_ Loomis ‘Enterprise’  
_ _ (12/21) _

 

Sonja Percy was used to her lifestyle choices being the minority.  She wasn’t bothered by it for the most part. Having to remind people to get her a Veggie burger when they stop out for lunch instead of a Big Mac was just something she was used to.  Having to bring her own snacks to the community fridge.  

However, since she started working at NCIS she noticed they took less time than most to take her veganism to memory.  Within weeks she no longer had to tell them what to get her when someone went out for a group meal.  Vegetarian restaurants entered the rota, and non-dairy snacks found their way in the fridge next to the mini Baby Bells. 

She was surprised at how little they seemed to care that she didn’t want to eat that bacon wrapped brie, or eat Pride’s Gumbo.  It was refreshing change from her past, and it made her feel more like this was family rather than just coworkers.  
  
Nothing said that more then when she had her first Birthday while working with NCIS and she found herself in front of a Vegan chocolate cake with almond milk ice cream to go with it.

 

* * *

 

 

**“Well, you did see me in my underwear.”**

__ Will ‘About A Boy  
(12/18)  
  


Somehow it had never dawned on Sonja Percy’s mind that LaSalle wouldn’t be ready to go when she burst into the apartment they were sharing during their undercover mission.  Well, Sonja’s undercover mission.  LaSalle was playing her househusband and acting as backup in case it all went south.

The problem with shared digs was that things like this could occur.  Bursting into your so called home and finding your partner sans most of his apparel.  Actually, from the way his hands were positioned on his hips, she had an idea that if she had burst in a second later he would be sans all of the apparel and she would have gotten a good look at the family jewels.

He looked good, but she wasn’t about to say that.  Apparently just out of a shower, as she could still see some water falling down his chest.  Yep, LaSalle was a looker.

“You not ready yet?” She said, hands on her hips.  “We’ve got a meeting in five minutes.”

He rolled his eyes. “Just give me a sec.”  He quickly dressed while Sonja gathered her gear.  As he passed her on the way to the door he smirked and leaned towards her.  “Hope you enjoyed the show.”

 

* * *

 

 

**Special Note:**  I write these in a month bloc of daily prompts.  So I'll be updating like that as well.  There are more drabbles already written, but they are part of other months of prompts.

This comes from 2 series.  The 1 is a 2014 year of prompts I agreed to complete based on qoutes (which these come from), the other is a current year of prompts based on lyrics.  So expect some of those at the end of February


	2. August 2014 Prompts Part1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meredith isn't ready.

**Why!? It’s not like you slept with him?”**

_ Bender ‘Futurama’ _

_ (8/3) _

 

This didn’t feel right anymore.  At first it seemed like the perfect plan.  They could both go on with their lives, their separate careers. Enjoy what they were able to give one another.  It wasn’t much, but it was enough.  She went on dates, so did he.  They would occasionally talk to each other about it, although as time went on that happened less and less.  When they were in the same town, they’d meet up to spend some time together.

For a while it was working.  Until it wasn’t.

Which led her to this.  Laying in another man’s bed, a man she thought she was starting to love only to find him wanting because he wasn’t the man she really wanted. He was a good man, currently lying on the couch because he felt she was too drunk to do anything. She had sobered up, and knew in the morning they would have to talk.  Because she couldn’t take this relationship any further, and he wanted to.  Not just sex, the whole bit.  She could tell he was starting to imagine the white picket fence and the dog.  Thankfully no children.  

It did sound a little perfect.  The two of them had similar careers.  He was on a task force dedicated to solving crimes involving children, she worked as a cop specializing in naval crimes.  They both wanted similar futures, and both loved New Orleans.  She wouldn’t have to worry about him being gone half the time.  The worry about getting a call letting her know he had died while working still remained, but she could deal with that part.  

No, the problem was she had already given her heart away and despite looking only circled back to the original.  It was time she ended this before they got in too deep.  Before feelings were too deep to make an amicable break.

The next morning, they talked.  He seemed to expect what she had to say, and they parted friends, although probably not likely to keep in touch outside of work.  She made her way home, still wearing the party dress she had worn the night before.  Quickly changing into her pajamas she settled back in her own bed to think.

She needed to deal with this.  Her natural inclination was to ignore and wait till it went away, but clearly that wasn’t going to work in this case.  It was almost ironic when a few minutes later her phone rang and his face came up.

She ignored the call.  She wasn’t ready to deal with it yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to put this one-shot by itself because I'm planning to eventually expand and revise this into a longer one shot.


	3. August 2014 Prompts II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Chris finds a surprise chef  
> \- Chris takes one for the Team (CHARACTER DEATH)  
> \- James hears a love story  
> \- Meredith has a moment with Emily.

We’ve got guests coming and mum’s letting you cook?” 

_ Jake ‘Outnumbered’ _

_ (8/14) _

 

Chris LaSalle wandered through the office, filing paperwork, enjoying the lazy afternoon they had been having.  They were between cases, so it was mostly finishing up paperwork (himself), attending court dates (Pride), doing some non-work sleuthing (Brody), or arguing over aliens (Patten and Sebastian. Loretta was about ready to cut their video conferencing off without another adult present).  So he was quite surprised when he started smelling something coming from the kitchen.  Whatever it was smelled  _ good. _

He made his way into the office kitchen, surprised to find instead of Pride back early from his court appearance it was Percy manning the stove.  She was stirring a large pot, concentrating on her ingredients.

“Does Pride know you are cooking in his kitchen,” LaSalle teased, leaning against the doorway.  Percy jumped at the intrusion into her till-then solitude.  She glared at him.

“Didn’t your Mama ever teach you not to sneak up on a cook.”

“Probably why she kicked Cade and I out of the house when she was making dinner.”  he joked.  He straightened and walked over to the island.  “What’cha making?”

“Chili.”

“Chili?”  He repeated, an eyebrow raised.

“Vegan Chili.”  She specified.  “Don’t give me that look, you’ll love it.”

“Chili is supposed to have beef in it.”

“Well, this doesn’t, and it will be just as good.  It's not going to be ready for another 20 minutes though, so you’ll just have to trust me, Carnivore.” Her tone responded in kind to his teasing.

“What’s in it.”

“Beans, spices, sweet potato and quinoa.  Go back to your paperwork and let me cook in peace.”

* * *

 

 

**“Take me. Leave her and take me. I’m stronger than she is, I’ll last longer.”**

_ Gwen Cooper ‘Torchwood’ _

_ (8/18) _

It took him less then a second to make the decision.  He saw the red dot and in a blink of an idea he had pushed her to the ground.  He had just wanted to get her out of the way and it seemed quicker to push her to the pavement then to shout to her.

At first he thought he had been too late, that she had been hit, that the blood on her, on the ground around them, was hers.  Then the shock wore off and the pain hit and he realised that it was  _ him _ who was hit. But before that the look of horror on her face as she noticed the blood tipped him off that something was not quite right.

“Hold on Chris!”  he heard a few of them say as they laid him on the street, trying to stop the bleeding, but he was already feeling light headed and not all that able to concentrate on who was saying what.

On the bright side, the pain stopped after awhile.  He stopped being able to feel anything.  Things started to fade, and he wondered if they had administered too much pain medication because he really did not feel a thing.

His last thought as unconsciousness found him was sight of Sonja and King staring at him.  He was going to be okay, He was going to be.

* * *

 

 

**“It’s like he willed his desire into this world, into reality. And he wouldn’t let go of it until it took him to her. He would have torn himself apart for her. And I would give everything-.”**

_ Frances ‘The Deep’ _

_ (8/24) _   
  


James lowered his camera, and took in the view without a lens in the way.  The gardens of George Strickland were beautiful.  The man still tended his garden with a loving hand, despite being the grand old age of 103.

“Why do you do it?”  He asked.  “It's amazing, but you seem to have more motivation than just making something pretty.”

“I do, Son.” the older man said, standing and wiping the dirt off his hands.  “I bought this home back in 1933.  I was twenty years old, and spent all of the inheritance I had gotten from my late father to buy the dream home of my fiancee.  Trudy loved this old place.  She was the first one to start building a garden.  SHe landscaped it, designed it, took care of it.  This was her child.  We never were able to have children, you see, so she directed all that energy into creating this garden.”  He looked over the extensive area.

“I hated gardening.  Never figured out why she loved it so much.”  He paused.  “Have you ever been in love,son?”

“Yes,”  James admitted with a smile.  “Still am.”

“Would you do anything for her?”

“Yes,” He stated, wondering where this was going.  Meredith rarely asked for anything.  

“Then you understand why I kept this garden going.  My Trudy isn’t here anymore, she died about ten years ago.  But she loved this garden, and I promised her I’d look after it.  And I will, until I join her again. “  The old man winked.  “Of course she’ll probably greet me with a rant about how I weeded improperly.”

 

* * *

 

 

**“Your brother didn’t have any more fight in him. You still do.”**

Leo ‘The West Wing’

(8/29)

Meredith sat on her bed and stared at the pictures.  It was the anniversary of Emily’s death, and the pain still felt fresh as the day she had been told a drunk driver had taken her sister away.

The pictures were of them before Emily’s death.  It had been her last trip home before her tour on the  _ Moultrie _ .  The two of them had spent the weekend hiking and camping at the nearby park to Emily’s home.  The two women in the photograph  she currently held looked tired, dirty and incredibly happy to have their arms around each other.  Emily’s boyfriend, who had picked them up had taken the picture.  It was hard to believe that just a few weeks later Emily would be gone.  That Merri’s life would change forever.

It had been nine years now since she lost her sister.  This past year had been especially hard as information trickled in that Emily might have been killed on purpose rather than by accident.  This time she had her chosen family to back her up, to help her find closure.

“Don’t worry, Em,” she said softly, touching the photograph of her sister standing with her arms raised in the air with a scenic view in front of her.  “I’ll find out what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Chili Sonja is cooking is based on this: http://www.onegreenplanet.org/vegan-food/recipe-sweet-potato-and-quinoa-chili/


	4. February 2016 Prompts I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. James comes home  
> 2\. James thinks over the break up  
> 3\. James keeps his thoughts for Meredith.

Well I’m going home, to the place where I belong   
And where your love has always been enough for me   
I’m not running from, no I think you got me all wrong   
I don’t regret this life I chose for me   
But these faces and these places are getting old   
So I’m going home   
\-- **_”Home” by Daughtry_ **

(2/3)

He was in Myanmar, covering the new government’s beginnings when he made the decision. He loved his job, he loved writing, he loved following the stories that needed to be told.  But it wasn’t enough anymore, and it was time he went home.

Home had changed over the years.  It was no longer a mid-western town, but rather a brunette chasing criminals through New Orleans.  So when he submitted his latest article to the magazine, he bought himself a one-way ticket to New Orleans.

They had never made anything official, not since they had gotten back together a few years past, so it was very possible he might end up finding her with someone else.  But he was determined at least to try and let her know that they wouldn’t have to compromise anymore.  That he was the one who would compromise so they could have their attempt at a happily ever after.

He didn’t really feel nervous till he was standing outside her door, luggage around him and the taxi speeding away.  He was making a large assumption, and could only hope that she felt the same way he did.  He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. It wasn’t long before she opened the door.

“James?  I didn’t know you were coming.”

“I figured it was time to come home.”  For a second he wondered if she caught his meaning, but a second later her lips broke into a huge smile and as he hugged her close he knew she understood.

 

* * *

 

 

'Cause she's bittersweet, she knocks me off of my feet   
And I can't help myself, I don't want anyone else   
She's a mystery, she's too much for me   
And I keep coming back for more   
She's just the girl I'm looking for   
\-- **_”Just The Girl” by The Click Five_ **

(2/5)

There were times over the years when James thought he had done the right thing in not fighitng the break up.  But there were an equal amount of times when he would regret not doing more.  But in the end it didn’t matter whether he regretted it or not, it had happened and too much time had passed for it to be easily rectified.

He kept getting drawn back to her.  Sometimes it was simple as seeing something he knew she would love while traveling through foreign cities.  Most of the time he didn’t get them, but he had a shoebox back home with small keepsakes he got when he couldn’t resist the urge.  He hoped someday to be able to give it to her.

Other times it was overpowering memories when he was in familiar haunts.  Passing through the town they met.  Seeing the crosswords on the newsstands and remembering nights in their PJs with him scribbling on a notebook and her leaning against him, playing her games.  

Seeing a request for an article on New Orleans and knowing she was there.  Seeing her standing there, focused on her job made him remember why he had fallen for her in the first place, and that he had never ever stopped.

* * *

 

 

Framed pictures start to be put on the wall   
Constant visits while I’m out on the road   
It’s hard to leave sometimes   
But you know where I lay my head at night   
\-- **_”I Don’t Wanna Know” by New Found Glory_ **

(2/12)

He’s not sure what made him decide to write letters back to Meredith, but he found himself writing her almost every day.  He’d never send them out.  Things were over between them, she had been sure of that.  He kept notebooks full of the letters, telling her how his day went.  It was practically a journal except it was addressed to her.  Sometimes it was a quick jot, other days it was a couple pages of thoughts.

Sometimes he’d work out problems he had with work.  He’d get a block on a certain paragraph, he’d take a break to write to Meredith and it oddly would help.  Almost as much as actually talking to her would.  Sometimes he would work on his own feelings on the break-up, which was that he hadn’t wanted to break up.  He wish he could go back and fix all the mistakes he made.

In the front of the notebook he was currently writing in, there was always paper clipped a photo of Meredith and him from when they were getting their engagement photos done.  It was one of his favorites, one where the photographer had told them to just have fun, to take some candids of the pair.  Of course the ones that weren’t posed, where they had hardly a thought to someone following them with camera were the ones that turned out the best.  He had kept this one as a reminder.

There were times he thought he was too strange for doing it, and would stop for a few days, occasionally he’d last a few weeks.  But as it was the best he could do, he would return to those notebooks, and to record the thoughts he would only have told Meredith if she were there to hear.

Later, when they had reunited and she had put forth the idea of continuing their relationship, albeit slightly altered,  he didn’t write as much.  He had phone calls, and emails that could take the place of the letters.  Occasionally though, when he missed her more then usual, he would sit down and write a letter to her trying to express what she meant to him.

He kept the notebooks in an old box, one that had a bunch of words crossed out from too many moves and too many different content.  He kept them in her basement when he finally came home to roost,  almost forgetting they were there as he got used to seeing her everyday, and was busy creating his own webzine to think about them. 

Until Meredith herself found them.


	5. February 2016 Prompts II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. He can't remember who he is  
> 2\. She doesn't Trust  
> 3\. The Rescue

As leaves fell from the trees    
She became a memory   
To a man who lost everything   
Forever doesn’t mean anything   
It’s just a promise that we make   
\-- **_”Sleepless in Seattle” by The Strive_ **

(2/14)

He stopped opening wondering about who he was four years ago.  There was just no reason to, as it was clear he wasn’t going to remember any more than he already had, and no one around him seemed to know him from Adam.  But it didn’t keep him from occasionally wondering if there was someone out there missing him.  If he had a family, someone who was mourning him as dead after six years of not seeing him.

The Doctors were at a loss for why his memories remained blocked.  He didn’t have any brain damage that they could find to account for it.  They just figured that it would probably take something equally traumatic as his car accident to bring them back, and no one was willing to subject him to that.   The fact that they couldn’t seem to find a record for him also troubled the doctors and officers involved.  They had found him on the side of the road, several feet away from a car with no personal identifying information.  It was like some crazy movie.  They couldn’t even find his registration.

So imagine his surprise when he is walking through the grocery store, picking up that organic cereal that his roommate Jay enjoyed, when he spots an issue of a crossword magazine.  He finds himself slowing and staring at the magazine as if it held the answers.    He gets small flashes, just like all the other memories he’d regained.  Memories of a woman doing crosswords in bed, the smell of coffee and bacon in the air.  The memories felt happy, which was more then the other memories he had regained, ones of war and death.

He picked up the magazine on his way to the check-out counter, not knowing why it was so important.

 

* * *

 

 

Take care of yourself but   
You’re nothing but trouble   
Just the damage of thought   
You’ll never recover from   
How you love   
A world you’re only dreaming of   
\-- **_”You, The Room & The Devil on your Shoulder” by As It Is_ **

(2/21)   
  


It would be so simple to just let go.  To allow this world to become the only one.  To lock herself in her mind, living a life she couldn’t have to avoid the reality of pain in front of her.  She was fighting, but she only had so much strength, and that was becoming scarce as the days continued.

So she blocked the pain by staying in her own little world.  A world where things were happy.  Her friends were safe and sound, and their blood didn’t stain her hands.  Where she lay within the arms of her lover, and didn’t fear he would be gone the next morning.

Sometimes she could hold on, other times the make-believe world shattered as the pain got too much and she cried out.  She never said a word, her only vocalization in the last week being the cries of pain, and the screams when the pain got too direct.  They prefered the slow agonizing pain to the direct, so it was mostly whimpers and cries.  But as their frustration mounted, so did the strength of her inflictions.

Her snowglobe world was harder to grasp onto.  The voices of her family and loved ones sounding like whispers, ones she should slowly was finding hard to grasp on to.

When the pain suddenly stopped, her body couldn’t tell.  It still echoed the weeks of continuous pain stimulation.  When she heard his voice, when she looked up and saw his hazel eyes looking down at her in sorrow she couldn’t tell if he was an illusion, a last remnant of the world she had tried so desperately to hold onto it.

It was only his words, “Hold on, we’ve got you” that kept her going then.  It sounded so clear, so loud in her ears that she almost cried in relief that this might possibly be real.  They were gentle as they carried her out into the light.  She groaned as the touch affected overstimulated nerves, as the light of the outside world blinded her.

It took her months to really trust that it was all real.  To adjust to waking up and not expecting pain to be inflicted.  To trusting that the pillow under her head was not an illusion, nor was the warm arms that surrounded her at night.  Her family helped her rebuild, to find the reality in the illusion she kept for herself. 

Still, she didn’t always trust.

  
  


* * *

 

 

Take all of your doubts, you can throw 'em out, you may be unsure but I know   
I'm always coming back, you can bet on that, you're the only place I call home   
Near or far, where you are is where I wanna be   
Every lonely night, every drunken fight, couldn't make it right I know   
If it hurts you bad, put it on my tab, I can pay it back tenfold   
You're the only place I've ever called my home   
\-- **_”Only Place I Call Home” by Every Avenue_ **

(2/23)

He stumbled out of the room, the police officer’s arm the only thing keeping him walking in a straight line after so many hours tied to that chair.  He had to walk out of there.  What little pride he had left demanded it, and concern for what she would see. He didn’t want her to see how bad it had gotten.  If he could walk out on his own, it wasn’t that bad.

When he got to the outside, he closed his eyes in relief as cool air circulated around him.  The basement room he had been tied to a chair in had been oddly hot, with very little air circulating.  He opened his eyes and started to look around, trying to find her face.  The one person whose voice had been his head, keeping him from giving up, no matter what they were doing to him.  

He finally locked eyes with her as the officer led him to the Paramedics.  He stopped and just stared at her for a second.  It was like they were both trapped in a zone where they could only see each other.  He tried to call her name, but nothing came out, just his lips moving.  However she seemed to know what he was saying as suddenly she was rushing across the crime scene, holding up her credentials as an NYPD officer tried to stop her.  A second later she was in his arms,  He sighed, almost a cry, into her hair as he wrapped his arms around her.

The power it took to stand and walk out of there was slowly draining from him, and she probably felt him leaning on her more then the hug would usually have.  She pulled back and looked at him, cataloging the cuts and bruises, the trails of blood and sweet cutting through the dust and dirt that clinged to him.

“C’Mon, let’s get you looked at before I take you home and never let you leave again.”  HE said nothing, which probably said more than anything.  She wrapped her arm around his waist and nodded to the officer that had helped him out.  “I’ve got him,” she said starting to move them forward towards where the stretcher lay descended low enough for him to easily sit on it, and shift to laying upon it, the paramedics locking it into place as he did so.

As they started their preliminary examination, which soon concluded that he needed a good hospital stay with some water, antibiotics and probably a sedative, he kept his eyes on her.  She kept looking at him like he was some mirage, like she’d blink and he’d be gone.  Her eyes made a sharp shift to the right where the paramedics stood when they started talking about a hospital stay.

“Home,” he whispered, finally making a sound.  She shifted her attention, but she must have been the only one to hear her. He just wanted to go home and sleep in their bed, wrapped around her.  

“He wants to go home.”

“Ma’am, with all respect, your boyfriend has a fever, several cuts, one or two that could use stitching if it's not too late, and probably hasn’t had water, food or sleep in the last two days.  I think an overnight stay is not too much to ask for,” the one paramedic said, her tone compassionate even as she listed all the ways he was injured.  “Plus there are some things we just can’t check for out in the field.”

She nodded, and squeezed his hand and he wished he could tell her it was okay, as long as she was there.  She was home, the GPS could lead them anywhere.  He closed his eyes, relaxing into the cotton pillow as they bundled him up and put him into the Ambulance.  She didn’t let go of his hands except when they lifted him in, retaking it as soon as she was in the vehicle herself, sitting beside him.


	6. March '16 Prompts I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. James wants her to ask him to stay  
> 2\. Sam arrives at the wrong time.  
> 3\. Merri mourns.

On my knees, I’ll ask   
Last chance for one last dance   
‘Cause with you, I’d withstand   
All of hell to hold your hand   
I’d give it all, I’d give for us   
Give anything but I won’t give up _   
_ _ \-- _ **_”Far Away” by Nickleback_ **

(3/2)

“Tell me to stay.”  She looked up at him from where she had been relaxing on the bed, her kindle in her hands.  Probably some crime novel she was rolling her eyes at with professional criticism, but that wasn’t his main concern at the moment.  He probably could have been better dressed when the subject came up, but he had been in the middle of a shower when the realization he didn’t want to leave came to him.   The  only thing he needed to know is if she wanted him to stay.

It's not like he would give up if she said she couldn’t ask him.  He was far too gone to give up on having that ever-after he hoped for with her.  He just hadn’t realised how much he wanted it  _ now _ till he had been in the shower thinking about how great the morning had been, how happy he was he didn’t have to go anywhere, that he’d see her all day.

He was willing to make the sacrifice neither of them had been able to make earlier in their relationship, but he had to know she wanted it.  He wasn’t going to push it on her.  She had to want this future as much as he did.

“What?” Confusion filled her face.  

“Tell me you want me to stay.”

“I can’t ask you to stay - your job..”

“Is nothing if you want me to stay.”  It seemed she caught on, her eyes linked to his during the silence that followed his statement.  He started to worry that maybe she wasn’t ready, that he’d have to wait but then the one word he had been hoping to hear came out of her lips.

“Stay.”

 

* * *

 

 

Heard she’s engaged now to her best friend   
No-one’s to blame, that’s how it all ends   
And I feel the pain, ‘cause I’m without here   
I feel the pain   
\-- **_”Sleeping With The Light On” by Busted_ **

(3/10)

Sam walked into the station, curious as to the sounds he heard coming out of it.  It sounded like they were having some sort of party.  As he walked further in, past the office where no one seemed to be working he found the team in the cente garden.    They were all joyful, and glasses of all ships and sizes were filled with alcohol.

“Did I miss an invite?”  He joked, catching the attention of those closest to the entry way.  Chris LaSalle grinned widely, and threw an arm over his shoulder.

“Nah, we are having an impromptu engagement party.”

“You finally asked Percy to marry you?”  Lasalle looked at him with wide eyes before glancing over at Percy.

“Don’t say that so loud.  She doesn’t know I was planning to.”  He turned and pointed to the center of the room.  “Its Merri.  She and Lathom are finally making their engagement official again.”  Sam felt his heart sink to the floor.  He had accepted that Merri hadn’t been ready for a relationship, had accepted that she wouldn’t be for awhile.  He just had always held out hope that she would figure it out and turn his way again.

Apparently she had just found out the ex wasn’t as ex as she claimed he was.    Pride handed him a drink, and Sam smiled and then threw it back, trying to mask his irritation at being at this ‘happy event’.  Thankfully no one seemed to notice, which was good because the last thing he wanted everyone ot know was that this affected him in any way.

He wasn’t about to let Brody know she broke his heart. He wandered over to them, giving her a hug as he congratulated her.  He turned to James Lathom, and held out his hand to shake, which Lathom returned, but apparently he noticed, because while a smile lit his face, his eyes were less happy and more pointed.

He was sure the responding look was more than adequate and moved on, flexing his hand.  He noticed LaSalle watching him from his spot at the makeshift bar, and wondered if LaSalle had been the one to tell James.  LaSalle simply raised an eyebrow and then turned to Percy, which answered Sam’s question.

He walked out of the celebrations, not really wanting to talk to any of them today.  The case could wait till morning.

* * *

 

 

It feels like nothing really matters anymore   
When you're gone I can't breathe   
And I know you never meant to make me feel this way   
This can't be happening   
Now I see, now I see   
\-- **_”Everybody Hurts” by Avril Lavigne_ **

(3/11)

She was fine until she was alone, able to slide down the door to sit on the floor as she broke down.  The shock had worn off and all she had left were the sobs that broke through her body.

He was gone.  More then gone.  He was dead.  She never thought she’d be the one who would get the visit telling her he was gone.  She always thought it would be her, that he’d be the one left behind when she got killed on the line of duty.  She felt like she couldn’t breathe, the sobs coming out in gasps she couldn’t control.

She was glad she was alone.  She couldn’t bear for anyone to see her break down like this.  This was not how she dealt with things.  A few tears were fine, but she felt too vulnerable to let anyone see her as she was.   She knew they probably knew what was going on.  They knew her well enough to know, even if they did not see and hopefully did not hear.

She had been laughing.  When the two men sent to give her the bad news came through the doors.  She had been laughing at a joke one of the others had been saying,  then turned to them and greeted the men, assumed they were here about a case.  However it was not long before their uncomfortable tension broke into her mood and she realised it wasn’t going to be about a case.

They asked for her, and when she supplied that she was indeed her, had told her that her boyfriend, the love of her life and the man she intended to find some sort of normal with eventually wasn’t going to be coming back.  He had been killed reporting in a war zone about a potential military corruption.  

Well, they didn’t tell her that.  He had emailed her what his subject was on, asking for information to judge what he was finding by.

He hadn’t emailed her back.  She hadn’t worried.  They had gone longer before.  But now she realised that as she had sent her reply he had been dying.

He wasn’t coming home, and she wasn’t sure how well she was going to be able to deal with that.  With her sister, she had him.  He wasn’t here to help her through this one.


	7. March '16 Prompts II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. James comes to a decision.  
> 2\. James has been thinking  
> 3\. Percy has a bedside vigil.

But it helps me on those lonely nights   
It’s the one thing that keeps me alive   
Knowing that you wait for me   
Ever so patiently   
\-- **_”Wait For Me” by Theory of a Deadman_ **

(3/12)

He called her every night as he made his way to bed if he could.   Sometimes it just wasn’t possible.  After all, sometimes he didn’t go to bed till he was so tired flopping down was all he could manage.  Other times her schedule didn’t permit phone calls.  One of the multitude of problems being in varying time zones.

But he tried, when he could.  He was surprised how much he looked forward to those calls, to hearing her voice.  Even if she was just telling him a watered down version of her day as to avoid confidentially issues.  It was remarkably easy to put into his routine and even his team seemed to pick up how different he was.  He was happier than he had been in a long time, and he was at his best after he talked to her.

She calmed him without even knowing it.  He could be having the worst day, and just hearing her voice soothed him.  There was something about knowing she was there, even if several miles and an ocean lay between them.  She was waiting for him.

And he knew it was the same for her.  That she looked forward to his calls, which tended to fall around lunch time for her.  He could hear it in her voice and occasionally, when her walls were down more than usual she’d admit that she looked forward to them.

It was one of the reasons, standing in a field on Crimea that he decided it was time to go home.  He had someone waiting for him, it was about time he stopped making her wait.

 

* * *

 

 

Cause every time I’m with you somehow I forget to breathe   
You got me like a rag doll now I’m dancing on your string   
And I keep trying to figure out who you are to me   
But maybe all that we were meant to be is beautifully unfinished   
\-- **_”Beautifully Unfinished” by Ella Henderson_ **

(3/15)

“I’ve been thinking,”

“Hmmm” she replied, partially asleep.  She was so comfortable, curled into him, her head resting on his chest as he played with her hair.  

“We haven’t really finished anything, have we?”

“Hmm?”

“Think about it.  We haven’t committed to anything because we always assume they are going to end badly if we do.  But things having gone badly.  I’d say things are going pretty well.”

She murmured an agreement, slowly making her way back to fully awake.

“And while I’d happily be Kurt Russell to your Goldie Hawn, I was thinking that maybe we should go the more traditional route.”

“You want to get married?”

“We almost did before.”

“I know.  I was there.  I didn’t know you were interested in going down that path again.”

“Well, we are older, more content in where we are in the world.  Things have finally settled down for the two of us.  So why not?”

She lifted her head to look at him, to see if he was being serious. She honestly hadn’t thought about it.  She was so very different from the woman who had been his fiancee those years ago.  However, to be honest, she had never been big on the whole marriage deal, it was only with him that she considered the idea a good one, and she found looking at him she still did.

She raised an eyebrow, unable to not tease him.  “If you think that was a proposal, I think you should rethink that.

 

* * *

 

 

I’m falling apart, I’m barely breathing   
With a broken heart that’s still beating   
In the pain there is healing   
In your name I find meaning   
So I’m holding on, I’m holding on   
I’m holding on, I’m barely holding on to you   
\-- **_”Broken” by Lifehouse_ **

(3/17)

The beeps of the machines were the only sound in the room.  She was alone with him for the first time since they had brought him in.  Tubes and wires seemed to come and go from everywhere.  He looked so still laying there on the hospital bed.  Thankfully he was breathing on his own.  She wasn’t sure she could have handled watching him having a machine breathe for him.

She looked up to see Pride standing down the hall, on the phone to probably his brother.  The rest of team was back at the office trying to find the son-of-a-bitch who had shot their teammate down.  She had wanted to go with them, but they had all seemed to understand that she needed to stay there, to be with him.

They were just friends, really, but they had been flirting on being something more.  As if if one of them pushed a little harder they’d fall through the boundary.  But neither had.  She hadn’t been all that interested in a relationship, and he was still a bit gunshy on the whole love thing after what happened before.  But that didn’t mean it wasn’t tempting every once and awhile to play around with the idea.

Except now watching him, listening to the monitors and holding his hand she realised she had fallen a long time ago.  When she had seen him fall she felt like her heart stopped.  And while she knew she would kill anyone who harmed any one of her team, there seemed to be something more about this situation.  As if she couldn’t move.

All she could do was press down her battered jacket against his side, hoping that it would stop the bleeding.  Hope that their teammates could get the bad guy and that the EMTs would get there in time.  She just watched as his eyes glazed over as the pain finally got to him and he fell unconscious.

She put her head down next to his hand, squeezing it.  She’d still be there when he woke up.  She wouldn’t leave him there alone.

  
  



	8. March '16 Prompts III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. A case goes badly  
> 2\. A wedding  
> 3\. James makes a decision (Another take)

Now you wait for something to come of this   
Well I’m here under your downpour, no   
It’s not your fault   
So please stop your crying now   
\-- **_”It’s Not Your Fault” by New Found Glory_ **

(3/18)

The rain fell in a downpour, but she didn’t notice, too busy putting pressure to the wound.  Too busy staring into his eyes hoping each time he closed them he’d open them again.  The water mixed with her tears, and with the blood that coated her hands and then ground around her.

“It’s okay,” he mouthed, too weak to speak.  She wouldn’t let go, couldn’t find it in herself to move.  “It’s okay.”

Things had been fine till they got to the suspect’s house.  Except at the time they thought they were interviewing a witness.  She thought it be an easy trip, and he was working on a piece about modern Police work so she allowed him to come with her.   They hadn’t expected to be greeted at the door with a shotgun.  Or for him to aim for James, assuming the guy was the cop.

Thankfully LaSalle had been with him and had taken care of the suspect while she concentrated on JAmes, calling 911, and compressing while waiting for the EMTs to arrive.

“It’s okay, It’s okay.”

The rain had opened up a few minutes ago, drenching her and him.  It hadn’t helped, soaking the cloth she used to soak up the blood.  She felt his hand weakly around her wrist.

“I love you.”  A brief smile, ruined by the line of red that started to run from the corner of his mouth.

It was never going to be okay.

 

* * *

 

 

I’d give you today but it’s not mine yet   
I’ll ask you to stay with me here ‘til then   
I think I’m falling for you   
I just want to look in your eyes and see   
All that you have looking back at me   
I think tonight, I love you   
\-- **_”Tonight, I Love You” by The Latency_ **

(3/26)

He stood at the back of the room, smiling and helping people get seated.  He dreaded every moment.  However, he knew this was making her happy, and at the end of the day that was all he wanted.  

He could fantasize about stopping the wedding, about whisking her off into the sunset like a movie hero, but he knew he wouldn’t.  There was no cause too.  He had realised too late that he was in love with her, and she was in love with someone else.

They were happy, and he treated her well.  He was a good man, someone he could trust to take care of her and support her when she needed back-up.  And he couldn’t say that if he did ask her if she wanted to run away with him she’d say yes.  In fact he could probably count on her punching him for ruining her wedding.

So he smiled as he sat down her cousin, laughing at a joke the man made before moving on to the next person.  He caught a glimpse of her out of the corner of his eye and smiled when she noticed him.  She looked beautiful, and so very happy.

She had asked him to stand up with her, with the rest of the team, and he would do that.  He’d stay, and hope to god his acting skills had improved.   He nodded at their teammate, who had the distinction of being maid of honor and the two of them joined the others up at the front, across from the group that served as the groom’s witnesses.

He could do this.

* * *

 

 

No amount of coffee, no amount of cryin'   
No amount of whiskey, no amount of wine   
No, no, no, no, no, nothing else will do   
I gotta have you   
\-- **_”Gotta Have You” by The Weepies_ **

(3/30)

It took him two years, 4 months and twelve days to figure out that this new arrangement between the two of them wasn’t working.  It wasn’t enough.  It took him another four months and three days to figure what he had to do to fix it.

He was kind of surprised it took him so long to figure it out.  After all, he would like to think of himself as an intelligent self-aware man.  It was his occupation to observe humanity and report on it, so it was a little surprising that it took him so long to observe that what he had wasn’t cutting it.

He loved his job, there was no lie in that.  But he was soon finding out that all the exotic locales his job took him held nothing against daily phone calls to her.  When he saw something amazing all he could think of was telling her about it.  He would pick up little trinkets of his travels to give to her when he was passing through New Orleans.  

When he figured out that the allure of his world traveling reporting was starting to wane, he was sitting in cafe in Prague, wishing she was there.  He could almost picture her there, eyes closed as she took the first sips of her coffee.   She’d love it there.  She would find some odd bit of trivia and try and go find it.

Four months later he was in Tirana , reporting on how things were going there  20 years after the war and he realised it wasn’t fulfilling him anymore.  Not in the way it used to.  So he packed his bags, turned in his article and caught the first trip back to the US, and then to New Orleans.

He showed up at her door with no plan except to figure out around them, instead of figuring them around their jobs.  When she answered the door and smiled at him, happy to see him there he couldn’t help but be hopeful that he was doing the right thing.

 

 


	9. September 2014 Prompts  I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Hamilton & Pride.  
> 2\. Pride identifies the body of one of his own.  
> 3\. PRide & Hamilton  
> 

**“That’s it. Get in my car, now, and if you say another word I promise you, you will regret it.”**

Rosa ‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine’

(9/6)

 

“Get.  In. The. Car.”  Pride stated, staring Hamilton down.  His voice was low but firm, showing that there was to be no argument but at the same time not being obvious about it in front of the press that drifted throughout the building in front of them.

“Why do you always assume I had something to do with every foul thing that happens in New Orleans?”  Hamilton’s tone was equally low, equally full of anger.  They kept coming back to this moment, confronting each other in anger.  Standing too close then most people would find comfortable.

Always with their respective teams watching awkwardly from the sidelines as their bosses fought it out next to the SUV.

“Too many strings leading back to you.”  The implication that Hamilton was a puppet master seemed to riffle Hamilton’s feathers more, but as he opened his mouth, shots echoed across the square.

Everyone fell to the ground, the NCIS agents seemingly to have their guns out in an instant, eyes searching for the shooter.

“Also, That.” Pride said as he put a hand on Hamilton’s shoulder to keep him from rising.

 

* * *

 

 

**“This one was one of your crew?”**

_ Arkady ‘The Deep’ _

_ (9/10) _

Loretta stood solemnly next to the table as Pride entered the room, Sebastian on his heels.  Neither man spoke at first.  They just stood by the table.

“Is it him?,” Pride finally asked.”  Loretta nodded, sorrow filling her deep eyes.  Pride looked away for a second to hide that his own had tears. 

“Since none of his kin leave nearby, he wrote to have you identify the...”  Normally Loretta was good at separating her emotions from her work, but this was too close, this was one of their own.  

Pride looked back and gave a curt nod.  Better to get this over with then to delay it.  Loretta nodded in returned and reached for the sheet that covered the body.  She pulled it back and laid it softly on his shoulders.  The face had been washed clean of blood, but he could still see the places where the face had been cut by the debris, including the deep indention done by the piece that most likely caused his death.  Despite that, it was very clear who that was.

“Cause of Death?”

“Blunt force trauma.”  Pride nodded, not taking his eyes off the body.  Sebastian had already looked away, not wanting to look at his friend as he was.  Pride wondered if he didn’t have the right idea, but he knew that in the next few days and weeks they would be seeing it a lot, whether during the autopsy or from the photographs later when the body was released into his brother's care.

Loretta handed him a clipboard and Pride signed his identification of the remains.

_ Christopher Andrew LaSalle.   _

_ Time of Death 5:28am.   _

_ COD:  Blunt Force Trauma due to explosion debris. _

_ Body found during the search for survivors after the Whitney Bank Bombing and brought in by Officer S. Carter. _

Pride handed the clipboard back over and walked out of the room.  It was time to find out who did this and he couldn’t do that from the Morgue.

 

* * *

 

 

**“Trust me just once you grouchy old son of a bitch.”**

_ Jed ‘The West Wing’ _

(9/12)

“You need to trust me.”  Hamilton remained silent for a moment, the two of them looking at each other, no doubt analysing as they usually did.  The two of them had been at war so long it was hard to stop the old habits from getting in the way.

But he had to.  This time there was something more at stake than his career, his reputation. 

“It won’t be easy,” he finally stated.  “But I’ll try.  For Emma.”  He swallowed the terror that came from saying her name, for being reminded that his little girl was taken.  As much as he hated Dwayne Pride most days of the week, he knew the man was through and good at his job.  Which is why he had brought the case directly to him.  

“We need to get the NOPD involved, it's their jurisdiction.  But I’ll make sure to stay on top of it.  When was the last time you saw Emma?”

“Last night, at dinner.  She went upstairs to pack for her mother's.  It's Gwen’s birthday, and she wanted to have the kids for the week, which I was fine with.  Only I got a call that Emma never made it to Gwen’s house.  And then this arrived.”  He held up the piece of paper.  It wasn’t even a ransom note.  It was more of a promise.

Pride took the paper, and Hamilton closed his eyes, able to recreate the letter in his mind without aid.

Pride was really his only hope.

 

* * *

 

 


	10. September 2014 PRompts II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Georgia LaSalle hears stories of her Father's exploits.  
> 2\. Welcome to the "Murder"  
> 3\. Brody & Pride friendship moment

**“Well let's just say- that’s the way I’m telling it.”**

_Perry Cox ‘Scrubs’_

(9/14)

 

“That’s not what happened,”  Her father responded with a groan.  “Geege, don’t listen to her.”  Georgia just smiled, amused.  Her aunt had been telling a story about her father ending up chained to a wall without any clothes on.

“That is in fact how it went,” laughed Uncle King.  He was standing in the archway from the living room into the kitchen where he had been preparing Thanksgiving.  Her extended family rotated the big family holidays as to who was hosting, and Thanksgiving this year had ended up being her parent’s turn.  “In fact, I recall your boxer shorts were holiday themed.”

“Are you sure it was supposed to a holiday,” Her mother joked from where she sat beside her father.  “I recall it looked more like peacock feathers then turkey.”

“No one should have feathers on their ass.”  Georgia giggled at her ‘cousin’ DJ’s comment, which was hidden behind various adults telling him to mind his language around her.  She wondered if they realised she was 7 and therefore had heard more harsh language then ‘ass’.  But she wasn’t going to bring that up.  She wasn’t stupid.

“I kind of agree,”  Aunt Merri said.  “But it was still better than that St. Patrick’s day shirt.”

“HEY!”  Her father said in mock offense while the group at large laughed.

 

* * *

 

 

 

**“Captain, hey! Welcome to the murder.”**

_Jake ‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine_

(9/17)  


“Hey NCIS, Welcome to the murder.”  Pride glanced over his sunglasses at the eager NOPD officer who had greeted them.  He sipped his coffee hoping that the caffeine would sink in soon and the filter that kept him from saying things he shouldn’t say would be more fully functional.

He decided to ignore the odd greeting and walked into the room and blinked.  The room was empty except for a single person laying on the floor, quite visibly alive.  And surrounded by crows.

“Ah, King?  Where’s the murder?”  LaSalle asked from beside him, equally confused.

“Crows, Christopher.  Crows.”

“I see.”  Pride stepped forward and the crows ignored him, all of them weirdly staring at the man in the center of the room dressed up like Mary Poppins.  Didn’t look half bad except the long red beard didn’t quite fit the image.   “And what did the Crows do to the Navy?”

“This would be Petty Officer Iolo Whote.”  The NOPD officer commented.  “Figured this was more your thing then ours.  Good luck with the birds.”

Pride shook his head as the young officer booked it to the car, and took another sip of his coffee.  He should have called in sick today.

 

* * *

 

 

**“That might have been true before, but it’s not true now.”**

_Coop ‘Suspect Behavior’_

_(9/21)_

 

Pride handed Brody a beer and then settled down in the chair beside her.

“So a year,” he said, a smile on his face.  “Still feel like running?”  He took a sip of his own beer.

“Why?,”  SHe asked with a raised eyebrow and a smile.  “Is that why you accepted Agent Percy’s application?  Making sure you had someone to take my spot?”

“Well, one should always make sure to cover the possibilities,”  He joked.  “But seriously, Merri, did you find your home here?”

“I think I did,” she answered honestly and with a widened smile. She really had. Not only did she finally find a place she felt at peace for once, she found people she could trust, her own made up family if you will.  She could share the burden of her sister’s death because she could trust them not to drop the ball.  They would have her back, and she thiers.  
It was home.

“I guess Agent Percy will just have to share Chris’ Desk.”  Brody burst out laughing, head tilted back at the idea of LaSalle and Percy fighting over his desk.  
“You might have to hide the legos.”

* * *

 

 

(a little out of order but apparently this one got filed wrong with another fandom)

 

**“Come on darling, get out the wall.”**

_ Fiona ‘About A Boy’ _

(9/9)

“He’s doing it again.”

“Don’t what?  And who?”

“Pride.  He’s doing the wall thing again.”  He lowered his tablet to look at her, finding her slightly spinning in her seat, her face settled into the expression he knew to be her contemplation face.  “I went up to talk to him about visiting an old case of mine,  as I thought it might be connected to the Sergroe case.  And I spotted things pinned up on that wall.  Pictures, documents.  It looked a bit too much like when he was after Baitfish.”

“Did you read anything?”

“No, I didn’t want to look like I was overly interested.  I figured he would open up about it eventually, but it's been a week and it's still up there and he still hasn’t said anything.”

“Maybe he doesn’t have enough information yet.  You know how through he likes to be.”  He could hear the worry in her tone, and he understood it.  But he also knew that they needed to trust that Pride would let them in before he went off to do something on whatever he was focused on now.   He knew Brody knew that too.

“Maybe.  Still, I’m concerned.”


	11. October 2014 Prompts I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. This is weird  
> 2\. Merri has an announcement  
> 3\. Kids say the darndest things

**“OK this just got a little too weird.”**

Jenny ‘About A Boy’

7/29

 

“So..”  LaSalle started, looking at the wall in front of him. 

“You would think the cult of crows would be the weird thing we’ve seen recently.”

“Nah, that’s still weirder, Merri.  This is just...normal weird.”

“There are different stages of weird?”

“There are.  Its all very scientific and everything.  Ask Sebastian.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”  She frowned at the wall.  “That’s an awful misuse of bananas.”

“Yeah, he really should have used eggplants.  Better coverage.”

She could only stare at him.  “You paint with food?”

“No.”  LaSalle stated.  “I just thing for...”he pointed vaguely at the slightly pornographic image of a woman made entirely out of bananas.”

“I think giving her a bra out of eggplant would have defeated the purpose.”

“This is weird.”

“Yep.”

 

* * *

  
  


 

**“Well that’s certainly not what I expected this to be about.”**

Holt ‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine’

(10/14)

  
  


“I’m pregnant.”  Meredith watched as the words settled into James, who seemed confused.  She raised an eyebrow when he didn’t respond after a while.

“Its...that is not what It thought this was going to be about.”  He finally said.

“What did you think this was going to be about?”

“I thought maybe you were breaking things off, that while I was gone you found someone else you wanted a permeant go with.”

“That would be a no.”

“So, pregnant.”

“Yep.” 

“I thought you didn’t want kids?”

“I wouldn’t exactly call this planned, would you?”

“I guess not, I’m just a little surprised that apparently the two of us found that 2 percent.”  Suddenly he grinned and she found herself surprised by the mood change.  “I think...I might actually like the idea of us.  Something real from us.”

“You never said you were interested.”

“I was never interested in either way.  I figured it was all up to you, and if we never had kids I would have been perfectly happy.  But I can be equally as happy with a mini-you walking around.”

 

* * *

 

 

**“I’m sorry, that was rude.”**

Will ‘About A Boy’

10/16

  
  


“Georgia!”  Chris said sternly to his five year old daughter who looked at him like she did nothing wrong.  While he had to agree with what she said, it was not polite for her to speak that way. Even if it was Hamilton.  “That was rude, apologise.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Hamilton.”  she replied, although it was clear that her apology was not heartfelt.

“It’s alright, LaSalle.  I can imagine where she heard that from,”  Hamilton replied with a smile to the younger girl and a glare across the room at Pride who simply shrugged.  LaSalle simply raised an eyebrow and started to lead his daughter away.  “Why don’t you go hang out with Aunties Merri and Sonja.”  That seemed to distract the girl long enough to get her out of the room.

He was pretty sure Pride was going to say even more rude things and he was also sure he didn’t want Georgia to learn half of them.  
  
Still, he might keep a copy of Hamilton’s face when his daughter called him a nitwit.

 

* * *

 

 

 


	12. October Prompts II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. James and Merri argue  
> 2\. Merri gets a letter. (MINOR CHARACTER DEATH)  
> 3\. James Proposes (Note: Minorly out of canon)

**And I’m saying this is a longer conversation than that and I don’t want you all over the place and we can talk about it later and you should focus.”**

Abbey ‘The West Wing’

(10/20)

 

There were in the middle of a argument when her phone rang.  She stared at him for a moment before answering, as if daring him to ask her to ignore it.   He remained silent, watching her as she spoke to Pride.  When she hung up,  she looked at him again, as if she figured they start up where they left off.

“Go.”  He said before she could say anything.

“What?”

“Go solve the crime, catch the bad guy.  I’ll be here when you get back.  We can talk then.”

“I don’t want to postpone an argument and let it fester.”

“You have a job to do.  It can wait.” 

“James...”

“I love you Meredith.  I don’t plan on going anywhere this time.  This is my decision and your opinion on that decision can wait till later.”  He paused for a moment.  “Go.”

 

* * *

 

 

**“It’s a last letter home, just in case.”**

_ Raymond ‘The Deep’ _

_ (10/21) _

She clutched the envelope tightly enough that she worried for a moment she might tear through the precious words.  Except she wasn’t so sure, because she’d rather have him here, rather have him saying these things to her face instead of in a box with ink telling her these things.

She had just talked to him a few days ago.  They had laughed about an awkward case she had been on involving a ‘murder’ of obsessed crows.   He had told her about all the sights he had seen when he had been in Rijeka and how he wished he could share them with her in person.

And now, less than a week later she was holding a letter he had written just in case something happened.  Only something had happened and it felt like her heart stopped when the man arrived with the news and the letter.

She knew her friends were just in the other room, no doubt near the doorway so they could come as soon as she needed them.  They were trying to give her space and she was grateful.  She couldn’t wrap her mind around it.  He was gone, and there was nothing she could do about it.  It wasn’t even a need for her to find justice.  The drunk driver had killed himself as well as James.

She really hated the fact that line came up way too often in her life.

The envelope contained several documents.  Jame’s will, a booklet of all his accounts and such should he die and need them taken care of, and the letter addressed to her.

It was a long letter.  And she could tell from the different colored pages, and the different colors of ink that James simply added to it over the years.   She hadn’t brought herself to read much of it.  A few words here and there.  She wasn’t ready to read his last words.

She slid to the floor, holding the envelope to her chest and took deep breathes to hold the silent sobs at bay, though she was not very effective.  IT wasn’t long before she felt the familiar arms of her family wrap around her, Still silent but there by her side through it all.

* * *

 

**“I’ve asked you 40 different ways and it’s time you come up with a fresh answer.”**

Johnny Cash ‘Walk The Line’

(10/24)

The first time he had proposed he had taken her out to dinner at her favorite restaurant.  While he had her occupied there, he had her sister prepare their apartment with a romantic enough look so that when he got them back there, she’d be surprised.  He had knelt on the floor, candles and rose petals around their bedroom and asked her to marry him.  ANd she had said yes.

Things had fallen apart so quickly after that.  A few months later Emily was dead,  Meredith was under investigation about her actions of the  _ Moultrie _ and he was off in Europe somewhere trying to work away his grief at losing a friend.  Not long after that they had imploded.

But here he was again, years later, about to ask the same question.  He wasn’t sure how though.  Asking her “family” didn’t seem to hope.  Chris was all about the romantic gestures and suggested a romantic boat tour of the Bayou.  Percy had straight up told him to just ask her, and then spent the rest of the time arguing with LaSalle about it.  He wasn’t quite sure if that comment had been to him or LaSalle.

Sebastian had just rattled off some random factoids about marriage practices, Patton suggested writing a letter, and Loretta had just smiled and told him he knew what to do.  If he didn’t, he shouldn’t propose.

His four year old daughter was also of no help,  telling him he should give her a cookie.

In the end he had taken a bit of all their advice.  He had written a letter for her to find at work, handed to her by Pride, who had helped him set up this final choice.  He set up a series of clues she was to follow which took her around New Orleans till she landed on the steps of the courthouse, where he wore a suit and their daughter stood beside him holding a rose.  

This time he wasn’t going to give either of them chances to talk themselves out of it.  He knelt once again,  overjoyed when she said yes,  and then led her into the courthouse where the others were waiting to witness their marriage.

“See,”  Percy had been heard saying as they walked towards the Justice.  “This is what it should be, LaSalle.”

“You don’t have a romantic bone in you,”  LaSalle had commented afterwards, amusement in his tone.  James had shared a look with Meredith and they both bit back a laugh at the interaction before focusing on finally getting married.

 


	13. April 2016 Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. James has a proposal  
> 2\. Chris LaSalle left his mark. (Character Death)  
> 3\. Meredith keeps the memories alive (References to Torture)  
> 4\. James writes.

_ We’ll wake up, we’ll make up _

_ And do this for the last time _

_ If we break up we’ll wind up _

_ Losing both of our minds _

**"Make Up Your Mind" by Theory of a Deadman**

(4/03)

 

Meredith let him inside the house, still confused as to why he was there. Not that she was displeased to see James, but he hadn’t called, and as far as she knew he was still supposed to be on assignment in Eastern Europe.

“Is something wrong, James?”  She asked finally as closed the door behind them.

“Depends on your definition.”  She simply raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, expecting him to extend his comments.  “I don’t want to leave you again.”

“Leave me?”

“I came to some conclusions while I was away, and the truth is I love you.  And I’m tired of only seeing you every few months.  Tired of having to coordinate time zones and office schedules.”

“You want to end this?”

“No, that's the opposite of what I want.  I want us to start something.”

“I’m confused.”  He smiled, letting out what might generously be called a small laugh but was more breath than sound.  

“So was I, but I was standing there, finishing my last article and I realised I don’t want us to be apart anymore.  I want us to start something real, something constant.”

“That didn’t really work for us.”

“No, it didn’t.  Because we weren’t ready.  Well, now I am.  I got a job doing freelance journalism for a magazine that focuses on the South.  I’m sticking around.”  She could tell he was nervous.  She stared at him for a second, allowing what he said to soak into her mind and be deciphered.

“You’re giving up your job?”

“I’m not giving up anything.  I’ve got a job.  What I want is you.  If you’ll have me.”

 

* * *

 

 

_ Hey Lucy I remember your name _

_ I left a dozen roses on your grave today _

_ I’m in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away _

_ I just came to talk for a while, got some things I need to say _

**"Lucy" by Skillet**

(4/4)

The day was beautiful.  It seemed ironic, in a way, as no one there felt very sunny.  Or was that an oxymoron?  Cade was never quite sure what was actually ironic.  But either way, the weather was nice, which was probably best, but it certainly didn’t fit the mood.

He had always known that this day could happen, he just had pushed it out of his mind, because if he had let it it would have been all he thought about.  He had enough problems as it was with obsessiveness, he didn’t need more.  Except it did happen.  His little brother was dead, and they were burying him today.

He wondered if Chris knew how much he was loved.  They had decided to bury him in Louisiana, his chosen home rather than bring him all the way back to Alabama to be buried with the rest of the family.  This was where he was happy and it made sense.  But the crowd today had made Cade realise how much of an impact on the city Chris had made as well.

Most of the well-wishers and condolence-givers had departed, leaving Chris’ core family. Their mother sat in a chair staring at the casket as if she couldn’t really see it.  The members of his team were saying their last goodbyes, and Cade tried not to listen in.  Those words were for Chris, not him, but they carried in the light breeze that made the humidity almost bearable.

Dwayne Pride had been Chris’ father-figure in a way, and his words reflected that.  Merredith’s words were that of a sister, determined to find out who had killed her brother and bring them to justice.  The others were likewise easily put into family categories and he couldn’t find himself arguing with anything they said.  He hadn’t expected himself to.  Chris had always talked about these people as family.

He watched as Sonja walked up to the casket and put her hand on it.  She opened her mouth as to say something but no words came out. Cade stood up from his mother and walked over to her.

“I don’t know what to say.”  She said quietly, almost as if she had to force the words out.  “We always had something to say to each other, and now I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s okay, neither do I.” Cade admitted, and put a hand on her shoulder.  Chris had been good at reading between the lines, but Cade had been good at reading Chris. ANd he knew his kid brother had loved this woman.  He was pretty sure she loved him back, but he didn’t think bringing it up would bring her comfort.  
  
“Besides,” Cade said, a smile gracing his lips.  “Chris wasn’t one to let others get a word in anyhow.”

 

* * *

 

 

_ I remember conversations _

_ Before I gave up on me _

_ And if it's any consolation _

_ I remember everything _

_ And you can't take that away _

**"Can't Take That Away" by Friday Night Boys**

(4/8)

“What do you think about this color?”  The words echoed in her head as pain ricocheted through it.  The memories of yesterday the only thing keeping her from cracking. She just went over it over and over again.

“There is no way that is going on my wall.”

“Our wall since I’m going to be living there too, you know.  And what’s wrong with it.”

“It’s dark purple, James.”  She had rolled her eyes then, knowing he was teasing her but still playing along.

“Purple is the color of royalty.  Mostly because the dyes were so expensive back in the day.”

“And how was it back then?”  She had teased in return.

“Hey, I’m not that much older then you, missy.”  They had laughed then, leaning towards each other as they walked down the aisle of paint.  James moving in had been a surprise, and one she had looked forward to.

But she had to live through this first.  Other conversations filtered in.  Talking with Sonja about her latest girlfriend’s tendency to leave her stuff everywhere.  Talking with Pride about Laurel’s new classes now that she returned to school.  Sebastian and Patton trying to get her to moderate their dispute about the reality of the Loch Ness Monster.

But she kept going back to those moments with James when they had been happily planning on doing some renovations now that he was home for good. As she looked up at the faces of the men beating her for information about Pride, she smiled.  They could take a lot from her, but they couldn’t take those happy memories with her loved ones.

 

* * *

 

 

_ No more apologies from me _

_ My arms are tired of picking up what I put down _

_ You’re all I think of… Still _

_ I’m gonna miss you everyday _

_ I turn my back on anyone who won’t believe _

_ And it gets lonely… Still _

**“Hang You Up” by Yellowcard**

(4/11)

  
He tried to move on, but he found he couldn’t.  His heart wasn’t ready, still tied up in her.  It had been two years since he last saw her, but he still wanted to.  Still wanted to pick up the phone and ask her how her day was, still wanted to wake up wrapped around her.

But that wasn’t going to happen.  They were too into their jobs at this point, and after the whole situation on the  _ Moultrie  _ and Emily  she had just pushed him out of her life. She didn’t want him there for her anymore. 

But that didn’t mean he didn’t think of her still.  Still imagined what she was doing, and wondered if she was okay.  Was she still running, or had she finally found a home she could stay.  

One day he would get up the courage to find her again.  To ask her to let him stay.  But he hadn’t gotten there yet. He wish he had gone back and refused to be pushed away.  He wasn’t sure what good it would have done, but maybe he’d still know how she was doing.  And he wouldn’t feel like there was this big hole in his life that was particularly Merri shaped.

He wrote her letters,  telling her about his travels, about how he missed her, about what he wanted to say to her.  He didn’t think she’d ever get them.  Even if he got up the courage to find her again, he wasn’t sure he’d give her the letters.  But he kept them in a box on the bottom of his suitcase.

 


	14. April 2016 Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. He wants more but he is afraid to ask for it (Either Prody or PerSalle depending on who you ask)  
> 2\. James writes  
> 3\. James tries to be there for Meredith   
> 4\. Meredith & James one summer night.

So many questions, like when we’re finished

What happens if our friendship’s diminished

Is it worth it all, if we take the fall?

Well baby don’t you worry about a thing

‘Cause who can say what the future brings

All I know is this, all I know is this

**Slow Me Down by 3PM**

(4/18)

 

There were things to consider.  Sure, over the years he had slowly fallen for her.  But their friendship meant so much to him, it seemed almost stupid to risk ruining it.  And admitting his feelings would at best make things awkward for awhile, and at worst destroy the friendship he held so dear.

She had come into his life at a time he wasn’t in the place for a new relationship.  Wouldn’t have even considered it.  On the bright side it had given him one of the most rewarding friendships in his life.  Something he cherished greatly.

On the other hand, he wasn’t sure how long he could go without admitting that his feelings were strictly platonic, or that of colleagues. That the sight of her when he came into the office in the morning made the day.  He had started to want more then what they had, and it was really only fear that it would ruin things that kept him from asking if she perhaps wanted the same things.

Some days it seemed like she did.  They’d share a look, or she’d laugh at a witty joke he said and the smile on her face seemed fond.  But he couldn’t decipher if he was reading too much into that.  

But as he glanced at her in the car, her singing off tune to some song on the radio, he knew he was lost.  No matter what she wanted, he was in love with her.   There was no way to turn it back or hide it.  He had to take the risk, because the possibility was so much more than the fear.

 

* * *

 

 

I wonder what you're doing, I wonder if you got it   
I wonder how we used to ever go so long without it   
And I know where I go, I'm coming back to you   
Be where I oughta, be where I oughta be   
**“Cross My Heart” by Marianas Trench**

(4/23)

“Dude, who do you write to everyday?”  James looked up to see Jake Larson, his frequent cameraman. 

“What are you talking about?”

“I see you write in those notebooks all the time, and I saw a lot of dears and love James in there.  So who are you writing to, because it's obvious you aren’t sending them.”

James looked down, rubbing a hand through his hair as he considered coming clean with his friend.  “It's...ah, my ex-fiancee.”

“The brunette who looks like she could take us all out with just a look?”

“I forgot you met her.”

“Only once, but she made an impression.  Why are you writing your ex?”

“Because..”  He paused.  “It's hard to explain. You call Mara every day right?”

“Yeah.  When she’s not with me.”  Mara Larson often accompanied them and acted as a part time assistant for her husband, and occasionally a research assistant for him.  

“This is my way of connecting with the love of my love.  Only she wouldn’t really pick up the phone.”

“That sounds really sad, man.”  Jake looked at him with sympathy.  “You should just go after her, win her back and finally give her all those notebooks.  Otherwise you may cause deforestation.”

“Shut up,”  James said, rolling his eyes by smiling at Jake’s attempt to lighten the mood. 

  
  


* * *

 

 

I tried to help you once against my own advice   
I saw you going down but you never realised   
That you're drowning in the water and I offered you my hand   
Compassion's in my nature, tonight is our last stand   
**“Scars” by Papa Roach**

(4/25)

 

He tried to be there for her, but he couldn’t figure out how.  Every attempt he made got rebuffed.  It felt sometimes like she had left before she had even opened the door.  Long before she said the words that had ended their relationship.

He had his own grief.  Losing a friend was nothing like losing a sibling, a twin.  But there was grief none the less.  He tried to be strong for her, but he never quite succeeded.  Then it became easier to take the assignments.  In hindsight, he knew he was always a bit too committed to his job for the relationship to work, but for awhile it was even more of an excuse to stay away.  He couldn’t handle her grief on top of his, especially when she wouldn’t let him help her.

So it wasn’t really a surprise when he got a package when he dropped by his apartment in London.  A rather small box, with the ring he had given her and a note that summed up as she was sorry, but they weren’t working.

He didn’t fight it.  She wasn’t wrong.  But as the years went on he wish he had.  It took years to figure out how to fight for it, how to get her back and even then he stumbled.

He was seeing history repeating itself though.  After her sister’s case was revisited, he started noticing her pushing people away, this time however he was glad to know that her adopted family wasn’t going to let her push them away too far.  They were stronger than he had been the first time.

  
He just didn’t know if he had gained any more strength for this time.

 

* * *

 

 

Don't speak you've already gripped me   
And I've made a room for both of our hearts   
Every night feels like we're in heaven   
Every moment spent lasts forever   
Every kiss that we wear, and drink that we share is alright by me   
'Cause we know it's right we're in heaven   
**“We're In Heaven” by Joshua Micah**

**(4/30)**

She lay awake, comfortable laying there and watching him as he slept.  It was a warm spring night, so she had the windows open, and the breeze blew his hair a little.  She hadn’t expected it to be so easy to feel connected.  She had expected awkwardness, had expected a time of adjustment, but it seemed everything just fit together in a way that they skipped all that.

It scared her a little, because she didn’t think she would find this, and not with the man who slept soundly beside her, one arm flung over her waist as if he didn’t want her to go anywhere.  She smiled briefly at the thought.  She had run from this often enough that she wouldn’t have blamed him.

She wasn’t sure if their relationship was considered slow or way too quick.  It seemed like they had gone from best friends to potential lovers in a flash, and only a second later to actual lovers.  But she knew they had years of friendship to build their relationship on.  She knew more about him than any other person.  She knew she could trust him with her heart.

She was still a bit scared though, scared of messing this up and losing this slice of happiness.  Of losing her friend.  But as she moved to be closer to him, she decided to just trust that they would make it through.  He certainly did.  And he had never really let her down before.

“I love you,” she whispered as she settled into sleep.  
  
“Hmm...love you too.”  came his sleep reply, surprising her as she thought he was fully asleep.  He pulled her closer, kissing her shoulder before allowing her to have her space.  It was too warm to really cuddle too close,  but the temporary touch had been enough.


	15. May 2016 Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Meredith/James   
> 2\. Chris/Sonja  
> 3\. Chris/Sonja  
> 4\. If NOLA were Scifi....

_ So just hold quick, you're fading fast _

_ In a cold trick of the light _

_ I'm just so sick I thought you might be here _

_ But you di-disappear _

**“One love” by Marianas Trench**

(5/1)

 

He was so tired. Everything hurt, even his hair.  His hands were numb now from holding up his bodyweight.  He wasn’t sure how much longer he could last.  There was nothing he could give them to make them stop.  He was pretty sure he was going to die, he wasn’t afraid too.  Just disappointed.

“Don’t you dare.”  He lifted his head, holding it up even though his muscles screamed.  There she was, standing across the room.  Except it couldn’t really be her.  She wasn’t here, she was all the way back in Louisiana, safe.  And even if she was here, there was no way she’d wear a white dress to rescue him.  His girl could kick ass, but she was a practical ass-kicker.  White dresses and heels were saved for good days.  Days like this got boots and pants.

“You can do this.”

_ No _ , he wanted to say but he couldn’t make the words come out, but she seemed to hear him anyway.   _ I don’t have anything left. _

“You have me.”

_ Not really. _

“I don’t want to lose you.”

The tone kept him looking at her.  She had never said those words.  She had said something along those lines, but never those exact words. She hadn’t wanted to loose what they had, that feeling that they were connected, but she never said she didn’t want to loose him.

Merredith would get by without him.  She was stronger then this vision seemed to want him to believe.  Maybe some odd piece inside him wanted her to need him as much as he needed her.

_ I’m sorry. _

“You don’t get to say you’re sorry.”

He closed his eyes then.  He didn’t hear the door open, or feel the chains break.

But he did see her when he opened his eyes, cut up and bruised like an avenging angel. And neither of them disappeared this time.

* * *

 

 

_ It really hurts to know that I'm why your bed's half empty _

_ While you sleep alone or just stare up at the ceiling _

_ And if you're a mess god knows what that makes me _

_ 'Cause the weight from all my guilt is all too much for me to carry _

**"Can't Save Myself" by As It Is**

(5/5)

She turned over in the bed, unused to having so much room.  Which just underlined her problem.  She shouldn’t be unused to being by herself.  She shouldn’t be so used to finding him next to her.  It was her own damn fault, She hadn’t been paying attention, hadn’t noticed the fact that they weren’t holding the lines they used to put between them.

It was supposed to be thing between friends.  Something to have when they needed someone and neither of them were in a relationship.  She hadn’t wanted more, not now.  Except it seemed that is what she got.  She woke up to the fact a few weeks ago that they had started falling into patterns.  Patterns that suggested more than a casual romp between friends.

And then she had ended it.  Had pushed him away, claiming she wasn’t really interested in continuing it.  Except lying here she realised she had long since passed where she could walk away in one piece.  He had warmed his way into her heart, into a place she wasn’t going to get him out of.

And given how she had ended things she might have lost him for good. Not just as her partner in life, but her partner at work, her best friend.

She could only blame herself.  She should have ended it long ago, maybe not even tested the lines. But she only had herself to blame for why they weren’t together.  She wondered if he was having trouble sleeping without her.  

She sighed as she heard someone knock on her door.  Irritated, and not in the mood to deal with any neighbors or whoever was at her door she stomped over angrily, throwing the door open without even looking.  Her planned angry retort was cut short when she realised it was him, standing at her door looking just as irritated.

“I’ve been thinking,”  was his greeting.  “And I’m not buying it.”

* * *

_ Standing on the edge of morning  _

_ Scent of sex and new found glory  _

_ Playing as she's pulling back her hair  _

_ She drives away, she's feeling worthless  _

_ Used again but nothing's different  _

_ She'd stay the night but knows he doesn't care _

**“I Want To Save You” by Something Corporate**

(5/8)

He didn’t move as she got out of the bed, pretending to be asleep as she moved around getting ready to leave.  He could see the clock from where he lay on his side, facing away from her.  It was only 3 in the morning.  He supposed he could be happier that she stayed later this time.  The last few times they had crossed this line from partners to, well,  _ partners _ she had left almost before he had a chance to fall asleep.  He’d wake up to find her gone, as if the night had never happened.

He tried not to let it bother him, to keep it to their promise this this was just something to relax, to unwind after particularly troublesome cases.  The problem was he wasn’t sure he believed that anymore.  He wanted to have her around more, wanted to wake up to a lazy sunday mornings.  To be able to roll over and wrap himself around her and not have her run away.

But this was all he could have, and though he realised it was starting to break his heart, he was going to let her go, let her run if she needed it.  He could be whatever it was she needed him to be, even if it was the guy who rolled over and fell asleep and didn’t notice that she slipped away in the middle of the night.

Although he half hoped she didn’t believe that.

 

* * *

 

 

_ Well isn't anybody home in here _

_ It's getting cold and I just don't care, _

_ So I'm gonna find something else to do, uh-huh. _

_ Just take a really good look at me _

_ I'm twenty-two and I still don't see, why _

_ All of you people just can't get along, anymore. _

**Soulfight” by The Revivalists**

(5/9)

“So how's he doing, Doc?”  He could hear the voice of his stepfather talking to the woman who had been taking care of him.  They weren’t allowing him in the room, but he could still hear the familiar voice.

“He appears to be drifting in and out of a self-made world,” the doctor responded, her voice kind.

“A self-made world?”  That would be his foster sister,  her voice containing fear and sadness.

“It's like he’s protecting himself by projecting himself into another life.  He even cast the people he’s familiar with in other roles.  From what little I’ve been able to gather, your family seems like its been transformed into a team of crime fighters.

“Would he recognize us?”

“He might.  It's hard to tell anymore what world he’s sunk his consciousness into. “  The Doctor sighed.  “I have my assistant Dr. Lund recording him so we can construct a model of this other life he is leading, in hopes that maybe we can pull him back into ours.”  He could hear them going to the door.  “Since he appears to have recast us all, don’t be startled if he refers to you as another name.  He keeps referring to me as Loretta.”

When the door opened, they walked in, and he blinked.  The images filtered back and forth between the office and the room, but the faces never changed.  “Hey King.”

“Hey, Son.  Feeling any better?”

 


	16. May 2016 Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Sonja and her daughter   
> 2\. Meredith/Pride   
> 3\. Percy/LaSalle  
> 4\. Percy/LaSalle (Spoilers for Season 2 finale)

_ I used to spend my nights wishing that I could be someone else _

_ Then I realised the person I’d be was always gonna be myself _

_ ‘Cause if you look past the imperfections _

_ We are all the same we’re only human _

_ The most powerful thing you own is your voice _

**"Perfect (The Way You Are)" by Emma Blackery**

(5/12)

 

“You aren’t eating your breakfast.”  Sonja eyed her daughter with a questioning look.  She normally ate everything in sight, a skill she had inherited from her father.  Lately however, She had started to notice that her daughter’s eating habits had suddenly changed. 

“I’m just not hungry,” the teenager said, giving one of those false smiles that Sonja could pick up a mile away.  It was the same one her father used, and after 14 years of dealing with that man it was an ingrained habit to question that look.

“What’s going on - and Jake, bacon is not a hair accessory.”  Her six year old son looked at her innocently like she hadn’t just caught him putting bits of bacon in his hair.  Why her husband had thought making bacon was a good idea, she didn’t know.  As long as it stayed far away from her plate she didn’t mind if the rest of them ate it.  Just not in their hair.

“Nothing.”

“Don’t tell me nothing. You love pancakes and grits.”

The girl sighed, putting down her fork from where she had been stirring the grits around her bowl. “I just want to be pretty like the other girls.”

“What on earth are you talking about?  You are the prettiest girl I know.  And what does this have to do with you not wanting your breakfast.”

“Lydia says that if I want to be pretty, I need to be skinner.”

“Lydia doesn’t know what she is talking about.”  Sonja moved to sit next to her daughter.  “You are beautiful and you are healthy.  You do not have to change yourself to make Lydia happy.”  She paused.  “Many people will tell you that you have to change something about yourself to fit in, to make it in the world, or to attract someone.”  She bit back a smile as the girl blushed.  So there was someone her little girl had a crush on.  Well, she was 13, so it wasn’t that much a surprise.  “You just have to be yourself.  Not eating can make you sick, just as eating too much can.

“You are perfect just the way you are, and if someone can’t see that, then that’s their problem. Not yours.”  She pushed the plate closer to her daughter.  “Enjoy the pancakes.”

 

* * *

 

 

_ When I wake up _

_ The dream isn’t done _

_ I wanna see your face and know I made it home _

_ If nothing is true _

_ What more can I do? _

_ I am still painting flowers for you _

**“Painting Flowers”  by All Time Low**

(5/15)

 

It had been a year, but he still had nightmares.  Still woke up some nights, especially after stressful days or when he had to deal with something around what happened to him.  He tried to hide it from her, but he knew better than to expect her to sleep through him fighting his way out of a nightmare.  

He considered sleeping on the couch on nights he knew he was more likely to have them.  Spare her the uneven sleep.  But in the end he needed to see her, to see that she was alright, that they were home, alive and moderately in one piece. She didn’t say anything, but she’d collect the pillow he set aside on the couch and move it back to the bedroom.  She’d grab his hand and drag him in behind her, making sure she sleeps half on him, as if her weight and closeness would ward off the demons he still fought at night.

But there were nights that didn’t work, when he woke in a panic, not knowing where he was in the darkness of their bedroom, not till she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him back down to her and started whispering it was okay in her ear.  The sound of her voice helped the panic drop down to controllable, and eventually he shifted back into reality, where she was right there next to him.

He knew she still had nightmares,  though they were rarer than his own.  But she had always been the stronger of the two, the one able to compartmentalize and work her way through.  He’d get there, he hoped, and he hoped one day neither of them would remember those days trapped in that warehouse forced to watch as their kidnapper tortured the other for information.

Till then he could only hold her tight.

 

* * *

 

 

_ With splinters in our teeth we’re driven from our parallels _

_ Our path a prison, bound to walk where countless feet already fell _

_ But there’s a wildness in our heart that we’ve forgotten in our march _

_ All to be free like this _

**\--”No Parallels” by Hands Like Houses**

(5/18)

They had been on a new different kind of normal since he had let it out in the open that he cared for her.  That she wasn’t just another person who's back he watched, but something more.  They ignored that night, ignored what it meant.  Things were strained for a while, but they found a new equilibrium.  Perhaps a little more removed from each other but not too noticeably.  

But then the situation that had precipitated that night happened again.  This time he was the one in the line of fire.  He had been investigating at another location, with her and Pride coming to back him up after they were done with their own interviews.

Except they didn’t make it there before the building blew up.  The overwhelming panic she felt as she realised that he was inside was unexpected yet not.  It didn’t feel unnatural and she later realised she had felt it before, when that gunmen had told them he had shot LaSalle.

Pride had thrown the car into park and both of them had jumped out and rushed towards the scene, stopping short as they came to the edge of the property.  Flames were burning arcoss the brick building, and one whole side was just gone.  She could see a little girl huddling against a wall in an upstairs room that now was open to the outside not to far from where she was standing.

And then she saw LaSalle climbing up to get her.  It was clear he had managed to get clear enough of the blast not to get seriously injured,at least nothing she could see from this distence, but he was covered in ash. 

She rushed over to help him, careful around the remains of the blast site.  She could hear Pride talking over his phone to the authorities and sirens getting closer. All three of them managed to get to Pride’s location when the firefighters got there. After he confirmed to the firefighters that everyone had managed to get out besides the suspect who had set off the bomb, they went to fighting off the fires and establishing a investigation zone.

The little girl continued to cling to him, as if he was the only thing keeping her safe.  Sonja really didn’t blame her.  Chris seemed to realise something in the way she was watching him, because a second later he had pulled her close, both arms around her, reassuring her he was okay.

She hugged him back, not even caring that he called her sweetheart, or that the little girl had decided it was a three way hug and now had one hand grasping her jeans.

* * *

 

 

_ This place is so empty my thoughts are so tempting _ _   
_ _ I don’t know how it got so bad _ _   
_ _ Sometimes it’s so crazy that nothing can save me _ _   
_ __ But it’s the only thing that I have   
**“Pieces” by Sum 41**

(5/19)

He threw himself into repairing the office.  Everyone else was spending the time away, and he even managed to push Pride out of the office. He needed to work to work out some of his demons and confusion at the moment.

He didn’t know what had gotten into him lately.  He was pretty sure his once comfortable friendship with Percy was now rocky because he suddenly realised he had been slowly falling for his partner over the last year.  He had been too busy thinking he was still getting over Savannah that it hadn’t even came to him that he might be falling for Sonja.  And now he was here, feeling guilting over Savannah, confusion and guilt over Sonja, and just plain anger at the events of the last week.

Brody, who in the last year had become like a second sister to him, was suffering.  He had been worried about her since the whole case about Emily, but his worry had increased when Russo arrived.  He had gotten a bad feeling about the guy, but also had been happy to see Merri looking like she might be on her way to happy again.  

Tearing apart broken walls to renovate helps distract his thoughts from worry about Merri, hoping she was enjoying her vacation.  She had decided to go to find James, and maybe drag her on-and-off again boyfriend slash always-love-of-her-life to a beach.  Pride was doing a road trip around Louisiana with Laurel, and he knew Loretta was taking time off to go camping with the boys. Which was amusing to think about, so he focused on how much Loretta was not a country girl.

“Need a hand?”  He turned around to find Sonja standing in the doorway to the office, wearing old jeans and a battered t-shirt. Just the person he was really trying not to think of.  He didn’t say anything, but used his hammer to to point to the toolbox.  She seemed to get what he was saying and got to work pulling down another piece of bullet riddled wall that was too badly done into patch.

They stayed silent.  He wasn’t sure what her reason was, but he was trying his best to rid himself of thinking of anything except making this office theirs again.


	17. May 2016 Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. LaSalle/Percy - Chris has to go home.  
> 2\. Meredith/James - Changes  
> 3\. Meredith/James - James is injured while on Assignment and Meredith comes to be with him.  
> 4\. James talks to his sister about Meredith

_ She looked to the sky and with one final breath _

_ She said “take this heart from out of my chest _

_ Carry it far with the love you possess _

_ I’m sorry my boy, but I tried my best” _

**Sleepless by The Strive**

(5/21)

 

Cade had called him in the middle of the night, and it had taken him a few minutes to understand what his brother was saying.  He was rushing into clothes before the call had ended, waking his girlfriend in the process.

“What’s wrong?”  She asked, her concern evident.

“I’ve got to go to Alabama for a few days.  Can you let Pride know?”

“Sure,” she frowned, sleep snapping away.  “Something’s wrong.”

He sighed.  She could always read through his attempts to shy away from topics.  “Mom’s taken a turn.”

“You need me to come?”

“Nah, I’ll be okay.  Pride is going to need you since you’ll be the only agent left on that Brai Case.”

“I’m sure he would understand.”

“It might be days, it might just be a bad night.  No use wasting time when we could solve the case.”  He grabbed the night bag he always kept ready in the closet for long trips that came up suddenly.  “I’ll call you when I get there.”

“Alright,” she said reluctantly agreeing.  “Be safe.”

A day later, when he left the room his mother had just taken her last breath, he found her leaning against the wall.  For a moment he just stood there, no words able to come out of his mouth.  It didn't matter, for a moment later her arms were around him, pulling him down into her embrace, and allowing the tears to finally find their way out.  He was surprised yet not that she had come anyway, and grateful that she had.

 

* * *

 

 

So stay strong and breathe in and don't try to pretend

Nothing lasts forever in the end

Here in my arms is right where you belong slow dancing every night

And I hear your voice and I've known all along that it's only a matter of time

Until you're here by my side 'cause you're the love of my life

**Here in My Arms by The Sunstreak**

(5/23)

Meredith had always known that her relationship with James was going to come with long absences.  He was always going to have another assignment, and her job wasn’t exactly light on the hours either.  Sometimes they would pass each other, one leaving, one coming home.  Still, it was worth it, for those few moments in between.  They were the love of each other’s lives, and nothing else would do.

But as she waited for him at the airport, she knew this time was different.  They had been talking more the last year, and there were significant changes in their lives.  The most major of course was the one resting under the hand she placed on her stomach, still too small to be noticed by anyone. And he had turned in his notice, and was finally coming home to stay.

Oddly enough, one did not have anything to do with the other.  She had been surprised when James had told her, about a month and a half ago, that after he finished up the few loose end assignments he had, he was going to come and live in New Orleans.  He had already had several offers to work as a blogger or reporter for Southern US papers and magazines.  He had his pick of the lot.  But he had made the first move to make their unusual arrangement, well, normal.

She had only found out a few days ago about the other major change in their lives.  She had kept it a secret, knowing he would be coming home today, so she wanted to surprise him.  She might be unsure about her feelings about this surprise child, but she knew he would be happy.

She couldn’t wait to tell him.

 

* * *

 

 

_ You say I would make a better liar _

_ And never face the music when it’s dire _

_ And I breathe disaster, ever after _

_ Don’t pull away from me now _

**Ever After - Marianas Trench**

(5/27)

He was surprised to see her still there in the morning.  Last night he had pushed, they had fought and she had left, and he had thought he had done the right thing. She needed to go home, to be where she was happy rather than waiting on him to heal.

It was going to be a long road to that.

Yet, as he awoke she was sleeping in the chair next to the window, curled up in what had to be an uncomfortable position. She was wearing different clothes, so she must have gone back to her hotel room and changed before coming back.

He didn’t know why she was still there.  Part of him was glad, wondering if she had seen through the lies that he didn’t want her there.  But he wanted her to be happy, and he knew she had finally found happiness back home in New Orleans.  She had found her niche, her family.  Yet here she was, sitting in his dreary hospital room in another country.

He shifted in the bed, wincing as his body protested and showed it was nearly time for his next dose of pain medication.  However, his movement woke her up and suddenly she was by his side moving pillows and helping him adjust so he was sitting up.

“You don’t need to do that,” he protested.  

“If you are going to go on another rant about obligation, I’ll hit you.”  SHe responded.  Her tone was steely, and determined.  The type of tone he imagined she used on a particularly difficult suspect and one he was only marginally familiar with himself.  

“I thought you were leaving.”

“Well, you know what they say about assumptions,” she responded.  “Of course I’m not leaving.  ANd I don’t think you really want me gone in any case.”  SHe raised an eyebrow.  “I’ ve seen better liars than you.”

“You’d be happier going home.”

“I will be coming home, and I’m taking you with me.”

“What?”

“Well, you don’t think I'm going to let you go through this alone?”

“I do have siblings you know.”

“While I do love your sister and brother, neither one is someone who can go up against you when you are stubborn and win.”  She grinned.  “That’s a talent I’m uniquely suited for.  Like right now.”

 

* * *

 

 

_ Don’t lie and say that it’s OK, it’s alright if there’s nothing more to say _

_ So I’m running away, I’m leaving this place _

_ Don’t tell me I’m the one to blame _

_ It’s too late for you to make me stay _

**\--”Running Away” by Midnight Hour**

(5/28)

“Are you going to tell me what happened?”  James looked up from his now cooling tea to see his sister sitting across from him at the table.  Blinking, he wondered when she had arrived.  He hadn’t noticed her entering the apartment.  But then again, she had her own key.

“Nothing happened.”

“Right, and you are always moping into your tea and screening Mum’s calls.”  She raised an eyebrow before standing and walking over to the electric kettle. “I’m going to make some fresh tea and then you are oging to tell me what happened.”

“What makes you think anything happened?”

“Well, you are home early from your stay with Meredith.  Secondly, your fiancee is not here with you as we all expected.”

He sighed.  Charlie was more stubborn than many would admit she was.  

“Meredith ended things.”

“Did she now?”  Charlie didn’t seem convinced, but he didn’t feel like proving his now unfianced state.  “And you didn’t even fight her on it?”

“What’s there to say?” James stated.  “Meredith didn’t feel we were working out, and considering the last few months, I couldn’t exactly argue with her.”

“Ah, but did you try?”  She turned from the counter.  “I’m not going to convince you to go back and fight for her, not now anyway, but sooner or later you are going to realise that a relationship needs people who actually participate to succeed.  Neither of you were participating.”

“Wouldn’t that be a good reason to call off an engagement?”

“How long ago did her sister die?”

“...Four months?”

“Yes.  And how long have you been having more problems then usual.”

“A half a year.”

“She’s running away, Jimmy.”  He scowled at the nickname. He hated it and only Charlie got away with calling him that.  “And now you are too.”  She turned to pour her tea.  “One day the two of you are going to run so far there won’t be anywhere else to run to.  And I suspect you’ll find yourself right back next to each other.”


	18. May 2016 Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. James POV of meeting up with Meredith in season 1  
> 2\. After the events of the season 2 finale, Meredith goes to the one person she needs right now.

_ Well I know it’s been years now _

_ And I don’t look the same _

_ And the hopes and dreams you had for me _

_ You thought went down the drain _

**“When We Die” - Bowling for Soup**

(5/29)

He hadn’t expected to see her so soon.  He had taken this assignment to try reconnect with her, but he had been waiting to find a reason to come to her office, or find her new place.  He had the means to do so, but he had felt nervous about it. It had been a few years now since they had last talked.  He had called her a few times, but as he expected, she hadn’t answered.

He missed her so much.  Things had been bad when they had parted, and it had been so long since they had been in contact, but he hadn’t stopped loving her.  He constantly would get his phone to call her to tell her some odd trivia he picked up while on an assignment, but remember she didn’t want to talk to him.  Not after the way they ended things.

So he watched her from his place across the street, trying to get the courage to go up to her.  To see if maybe there was something there to recover. He saw her go into the building and made his way to the yellow tape that surrounded the scene. 

He’d catch her on his way out.  Maybe this was a sign he was supposed to do this.

 

* * *

 

 

_ And I've been unable to push you away _ _   
_ _ You had me able to understand life like a game we play _ _   
_ _ You're not afraid of it all _ _   
_ _ And I've been unable to get you away _ _   
_ _ To talk about the things I wish I could say _ _   
_ _ Do you know your worth? _ _   
_ _ Cause everyday I pray for your world. _ __   
**“Miles Don’t Mean Anything” by Eye Alaska**

(5/31)

She was on the plane before she really thought her plan through.  She wasn’t sure this was a great idea. As much as she needed him, would it be fear given that her latest crisis involved another man.  A man she had slept with.  While they had a agreement that neither of them had to be exclusive with the other, she didn’t want to rub her dates in his face anymore then she’d really want to know the women he was dating.

However, she still found herself on a plane to England shortly afterwards,  She wasn’t sure if he was on assignment but the last time she talked to him it sounded like he was staying at his apartment in London for awhile, so she was going there.

When she finally arrived at his door, she found herself hesitating.  She hadn’t called, hadn’t told anyone she was coming.  He could be on assignment, could be with someone else.  She leaned against the wall across the hall and stared at his door, biting her lip as she pondered what she would say to him.

“MB?”  She turned, startled to hear him speaking to her.  He was standing down the hall, hands full of groceries.  She opened her mouth to say something, but he must have seen something in her face because before she said a word he was at her side, bags on the ground and his arms around her pulling her in for a tight hug,

Suddenly it felt like if things weren’t alright, at least there was a chance things would get better. She had no idea she had needed this, but James had known.  Maybe that is why she came.  James knew her better than anyone. He was the one person she couldn’t run away from even when she tried.


	19. June 2016 Prompts Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quartet of James/Meredith Drabbles.

_ I need you here but you're always so far away _ _   
_ _ I call you up but it's just never the same _ _   
_ _ 'Cause being closer to you is my sweetest escape _ _   
_ __ I need you here but you're always so far away   
**\--”So Obvious” by Runner Runner**

(6/1)

She denied it to herself for a few days, but she soon gave in and called him.  Just hearing His voice helped her and she wondered why she had avoided him so long. No matter what happened in their lives, they would always be there for each other.

She told him about Emily, about Russo.  She expected him to be angry about how long she had kept the news about Emily from him, but all she got was acceptance, and she was surprised how much she needed that from him.

“You saw through him,” James reassured her.  “Before anyone else did.”

“Well, Pride seemed to find him suspicious.  And LaSalle never warmed up to him,” She argued back.

“Chris LaSalle sees you as his baby sister, and as a brother I can tell you no one likes their sister’s new boyfriends at first glance.”  She smiled slightly at the slight tone he took while saying boyfriend.  James didn’t think much of Russo either.  “And Pride was focused on the fact that he had rushed in and took over the case, as any team leader would be.  It was you though that caught on that he wasn’t on the level.  Don’t be so hard on yourself.”  Neither mentioned how it had ended with Russo or how it recalled the  _ Moultrie. _

“I just can’t believe I let him get so close.  I should have trusted my instincts.”  She frowned as she heard a knock on the door.  “Hold, on, someone is at the door.”  She didn’t know who could have come over, knowing that the team itself was taking a break from one another, letting everyone heal on their own before they got together to heal together.

She opened the door, and stopped in surprise at what she found there.  James grinned at her, slowly lowering his phone, thumbing the end button.

“What does your instincts say now?”

She said nothing, which probably said more about her emotional state at the moment and how tired she was then anything she had told him on the phone. Instead she dropped her phone on the table next to the door and flung herself into his arms.  The comfort of feeling his arms around her, tightly holding her, knowing he was here for her, was more comfort then she had realised it was, or she would have admitted to.  

James couldn’t solve her problems, only she could, but he was exactly what she needed right then to help her on her way.

 

* * *

 

 

__ Why don't we share the darkness tonight   
Make it warm, and burn it bright   
I'm not saying nothing, I'll be polite   
Why don't we share the darkness   
**\--“Share The Darkness” by The Saw Doctors**

  
(6/2)

She had forgotten how it felt to lose herself in him.  And she always did.  When she was with him, she felt she could let go, not be second guessing, or wondering about what case she was on.  Only thoughts of him, and them and what they were doing.

Not that she never thought of anything else. She just felt freer to forget there was an outside world.  That the world wasn’t limited to just the two of them moving together in the darkness of her bedroom.

He made her feel safe.  Not that she, or he, felt she couldn’t handle what the world dished out at her, but he made her feel like she didn’t have to for those moments they stole when they crossed paths.  He made sure she knew she wasn’t alone.  That he be there regardless of what was going on between them.  If she found someone else to find her normal with, he would still be there.  Just like she would be if he found what he sought in someone else.

But for now, those concerns were dropped, because what they both really wanted was this.  The two of them, together.  Laughing at each other’s stories, talking into the early hours of morning.  Making love in places that made her note to buy some sanitizer wipes on her next trip to the store before Loretta or the others came over.

He was her other half, they just hadn’t found the right glue to keep it together, to make it work.  In a few days he’d be on a plane to his next assignment and she’d be back to solving cases with her team.  And they would write, call and text, but it wouldn’t be the same.  They would fall back into old patterns till the next time.

And there was always a next time.

 

* * *

 

 

_ I tried to live alone _ _   
_ _ But lonely is so lonely, alone _ _   
_ _ So human as I am _ _   
_ _ I had to give up my defences _ _   
_ _ So I smiled and tried to mean it _ _   
_ __ To let myself let go   
**\--”Any Other World” by Mika**

(6/4)

  
  


It had taken him 8 years, but he finally realised that going on alone without Meredith wasn’t going to cut it.  He tried his hardest.  Told himself his career was important.  That it had been a good decision to leave for Afghanistan even after she told him not to.

It was a lie of course.  Sure, it had helped his career, but here he was nearly a decade later and it didn’t mean much at all.  He was a popular freelance reporter.  He got to travel the world.  And his heart still belonged to Meredith Brody.

Once, when he had been a bit too drunk, he had blamed Daniel and Emily for even introducing them. Daniel had just laughed, but it had been broken hearted enough that it sobered James up a bit. At least Meredith was still around to see.  There was a chance.  Daniel had lost his Brody twin.  Even though he had managed to move on and find another love, it was still clear that Emily would always remain his first and perhaps deepest love.

In fact, after that night, James started thinking about Meredith, started wondering why things had gone south the way they did.  How they could have done things differently.  Eventually he got the chance to go to New Orleans. They might have broken up but they still loosely followed each other’s life. Facebook, the occasional run-in with each other’s family who still saw the other as part of the family.  (Olivia still introduced him to her friends as her son-in-law, even though it made him uncomfortable and he knew Meredith would hate it).

He knew it was going to take awhile to build things back, but he had patience.  He had eight years of solitude to know he could wait for when he’d get his happily ever after with Meredith.  He knew what the other option was.

 

* * *

 

 

_ Where are you, and I'm so sorry _ _   
_ _ I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight _ _   
_ _ I need somebody and always, this sick strange darkness _ _   
_ _ Comes creeping on so haunting every time _   
\-- **_”I Miss You” by Blink 182_ **

When she got to the apartment, she wasn’t even sure what she was looking for.  She hadn’t been here in years, and to be honest she was surprised her key still worked.   The room looked the same as it had years ago,  James odd sort of cluttery neat.  Piles of books that he had been using to research one article or another (and a few she knew he was reading just because he loved to read) were stashed in various nooks and crannies across the apartment. A hoodie lay over the top of the old couch she was pretty sure was as old as the man who owned it.

She ran a hand over the hoodie before moving on, trying to find any clue to what James last assignment was.  It had been two weeks since he had contact with anyone.  Not her, not his mother or his brother and sister.  Not even Jake, the man he often went on assignment with. Pride had let her take leave to find out what was going on.  She had contacted everyone who might know where he was and got nothing to lead on except he was working on something he had kept close to the chest, an assignment not assigned but one he choose himself.

She wandered into the bedroom.  The bed wasn’t made  (He never saw the point when you were just going to mess it up when you came home),  the nightstands covered in papers, books, and old mugs of tea.

It was when she sat on the bed that she found the box, half under the bed.  It was an old box, clearly meant for old photos.  She opened it up, surprised to see various objects all relating to her.  Letters he had written but never sent,  pictures from their engagement party, an old picture of him and Emily surprising her with kisses on either side of her face.  She nearly cried when she found the engagement ring she had returned to him.

She put everything carefully back into the box, deciding to hold off reading those letters till he was here to hear her response.  It didn’t give her any leads as to where he had gone, but it did remind her exactly why she was determined to find him.


	20. June 2016 Prompts Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Meredith  
> 2\. James/Meredith - James sells his apartment  
> 3\. Chris LaSalle & Meredith Brody are siblings of choice  
> 4\. Sonja misses Chris.

_ The first thing I do when I walk in _ __  
_ Is plan a way out for when shit gets bad _ __  
_ I've been looking for tears in the screen door _ __  
_ I've been waiting for another disaster _ __  
**\--”Passing Through The Screen Door” by The Wonder Years**

(6/6)

 

She always had a plan.  In case she needed to leave.  She never bought a home at any of her reassignments, knowing she wouldn’t stay long enough to make a house into a home.  She kept herself distant, not letting her co-workers in so she wouldn’t have friendships to leave behind.

But somehow New Orleans had changed her.  She found herself considering the team her family.  Chris LaSalle was the overly joyful baby brother she had never known she could have.  And she couldn’t imagine another person filling that spot.  Sonja Percy was a sister, someone she could gossip about boys, make-up and the latest episodes of Doctor G.  Pride became a father figure, a brother, and a mentor all in one.  It was hard to really place a label on what he had become.

She placed down roots for the first time in years, and allowed herself to trust that these people would catch her if disaster struck, and catch her they did.  They gave her both the room, and the support she needed to move on from Russo.  And the push to seek out what she really wanted in her life.  And she found herself in a reciprocal position with them all.

She had finally come home, and could leave all the disaster plans behind.  Or at least have some planning partners.

 

* * *

 

 

_ Arguments, a long-distance call _ __  
_ Hard as it get's I go through it all _ __  
_ No matter where I roam you know _ __  
_ My body's here but my heart's at home _   
\-- **_”Babe” by What's Eating Gilbert_ **

“You are  _ what?” _

“Selling my apartment.”

“Why?”

“..Because it's not home anymore.”  She seemed at a lost for words, and he wondered if she was getting what he was trying to say.  “It's just a stopover point.  I’m tired of never being home.  ANd I realised I needed to make some changes to make that happen.”

“But it is your home.  You’ve had that apartment since I met you.”

“Well, its not going to do me any good with my new job.”

“New.  Job?”

“Yeah, just got the confirmation call yesterday.  I’ll be a feature reporter dealing with speciality issues in the Southern US.”  She didn’t respond at first.

“James, please tell me you aren’t giving up a job you love for me. “  He frowned, angry for a second before realising it was her giving him a way out.  SHe had learned for so long to always have one that she naturally tried to provide one for him.  Except he didn’t want a way out.  He had finally found himself in a place where all the roaming the world didn’t hold a candle to walking through the French District with her by his side.  And he wouldn’t be completely giving up travel - after all, the Southern US was more than just Louisana.  He’d just be tailoring it down so his life had a little less globetrotting and a little more her.

“I’m doing this for me,” he assured her.  “I’m ready to come home and that’s been you, MB, for the longest time.  Not that I didn’t expect an argument from you,” he added teasing.  “You found a home in New Orleans, and thats where I’ll want to be.  Wherever you are.”

“You are full of cheese, you know that,” she answered, and even though he couldn’t see her as this was over the phone, he could hear her smile, and he had to grin, knowing he was slowly winning the argument.  She wasn’t as against making the first steps to finding themselves fully together again.

He was ready, he just had to wait till she was.

 

* * *

 

_ And I can tell you're going through the motions _ __  
_ Figured you were acting out your part _ __  
_ Once again we're playing up emotion _ __  
_ Which one of us will burn until the end _ __  
\-- **”All Downhill From Here” by New Found Glory**

(6/8)

They had all been battered by the last month, but Brody was starting to notice where there were hidden cracks.  She knew she kept her own cards and broken pieces up her sleeve, not wanting the others to see how close she was to breaking fully.  Not that they bought it, but they kept up the pretense which she appreciated.  They would be there for her, come break or healing.  It helped a little to know that.

But she started to notice that she wasn’t the only one.  Something was wrong with Chris. His smiles seemed a bit too bright.  His jokes a little too often, like he was trying to pretend to be the old him, the him that was before Savannah died.  She knew Pride notices too, his concerned looks in Chris’ direction said it all.

He had done this before.  Right after Savannah died, he had tried to live live even more fully than normal. Seeking out thrills and short term relationships.  She had thought he had slowly gotten over that period in his life, but she was starting to see something similar.  There weren’t any women this time around, but he was throwing himself into other aspects of his life.  And she was starting to notice that almost death wish was starting to slip in again.

Chris LaSalle was trying his utmost to ignore something that he just couldn’t and it was straining him.  All Brody could think to do was to be there, like he was there there for her.  She had more practice at staving out the breakdown so she suspected he’d be the first to crumble.  And they’d help each other build the other back up.  

 

* * *

 

 

_ And I’ve lost who I am, and I can’t understand  _ __  
_ Why my heart is so broken, rejecting your love _ __  
_ Without love gone wrong, lifeless words carry on  _ __  
_ And I know, all I know, is that the end’s beginning _ __  
_ Who I am from the start, take me home to my heart  _ __  
_ Let me go and I will run, I will not be silent. _ __  
**\--”Shattered” by Trading Yesterday**

(6/10)

She had been surprised when he had decided to move back to Alabama.  He loved New Orleans.  It had been his chosen home.  But over the last few months it must have lost its luster, because he announced to the group he had taken an assignment near his old home town of Blue Bell.  It was within a few hours of New Orleans, he’d be back to visit from time to time.  But He felt that it was time to move on.

Pride seemed to know something the rest didn’t, as he didn’t attempt to make LaSalle stay.  She had looked to him to start the argument, but he had just said that they would miss him.  Brody and herself had argued for him to stay, but to no avail.

That had been three months ago, and it was strange looking over at his desk and not seeing him.  She didn’t have nearly the connection with her new partner as she had with LaSalle.  Of course, she also didn’t have the conflicting feelings that she had for Chris.  Alec was simply her partner, a good investigator even if his methods didn’t quite sync as nicely with hers as her former partner did.

She wondered at times if this had something to do with her rejection a year before. Things had never been the same between them since then.  Sure they still worked well together, still synced, but when they were off the clock it wasn’t as easy.

Still, she missed him like crazy, wished he was still around. The occasional phone call or skype call didn’t seem nearly enough.  She had gotten used to him being there, beside her.  And, she admitted only to herself on days she was too tired to put up the wall of denial, she missed how much he cared for her, the way he look at her like she was the most amazing thing he had seen all day.

She wondered if he knew she looked at him the same way.

 


	21. June 2016 Prompts (June 12th)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again we visit the verse where James is in the hospital due to an explosion while on assignment.

_ But like the sun breaks through the clouds _ _   
_ _ Your tired voice broke through the sound _ _   
_ _ And rearranged my little head this evening _ _   
_ _ The greys they turn to baby blue _ _   
_ _ Now babe my only plan is you _ _   
_ _ And all the precious time that I’ll be stealing _ _   
_ \-- **_”Tonight” by With Confidence_ **

**_(6/12)_ **

“M..?”  She startled awake from her light nap, hearing him call for her.  At least she thought he was calling for her.  His voice was crackling and she wasn’t sure he could get more then that letter out.  SHe hurried to the bed and grasped his hand

“James, I’m here.”  Whatever he heard, it seemed to relax him and he was soon asleep again.  She kept ahold of his hand though, using it to anchor herself.

She had gotten the call in the middle of the night from Charlie, James’ sister.  He had been investigating some unrest in eastern Europe.  She hadn’t known the specifics.  They hadn’t been talking that much lately, both being quite busy with their jobs.  Things had also gotten a little awkward lately with James implying he wanted something more than the occasional hook-up.  She wanted that too, but held back because she wasn’t sure she was in the right place for that at that moment.

Pride and LaSalle had both looked at her like she was missing something, but Percy had sympathized.  Meredith had chosen not to question the look LaSalle gave to that particular response, having learned to stay away from the undercurrent of her two co-workers.   In the end, they had all said nothing, allowing her to make her own decisions.

But then she got that call from Charlie, who was nearly incoherent telling her that James still had her as his  next of Kin, and they wouldn’t tell her anything other then he was in the hospital.  She had been surprised, yet not.  They had broken up years ago, and one would assume they would have changed their power of attorneys and next of kin documents, but she still had him listed as well, so she couldn’t be too surprised.

She had called Pride, gotten some leave and made her way to the british hospital that James had been airlifted to once he was stabilized.  She hadn’t been prepared for what she saw when she got there.   Charlie and Rick had been there to greet her, Charlie a little more put together then she had been on the phone several hours ago.  She had talked to the doctors on the way to the airport, but she hadn’t really understood what they had been telling her till the two Lathom siblings led her to his room.

There were a lot of wires and tubes.  His face looked a bit battered, although at least he was breathing on his own.  One wrist was casted,  and one leg was.  However, she was surprised to see that right leg was no longer there below the knee.

She had the urge to run, to not deal with this.  But a calm settled upon her after a few minutes of panic.  She squared her shoulders and walked into the room, making sure he was comfortable and conversing with the nurses on his condition.  She needed to be there for him, and despite the urge to not want to deal with nearly losing him  (because there were words like crash, pinned, crushed down and blood loss, and he looked so deathly pale).

However now, hours later, she felt like crying in relief.  He was alive, and he asked for her when he awoke.  As if somehow he had felt her there.  That proved to her once and for all resisting the urge to run this time was the right decision.

She let go only so she could go tell the nurses and then call his brother and sister who had gone home for the first time in a few days that their brother was starting to wake up.


	22. June 2016 Prompts Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Meredith misses Chris (Slight Percy/Lasalle)  
> 2\. Chris leaves NCIS (Slight LaSalle/Percy)  
> 3\. Laurel and Orion meet (Laurel/Orion)  
> 4\. James has a few regrets (Meredith/James)

And the room feels so empty   
Where my pictures used to be   
And I can’t say that I blame you   
But you can’t blame me   
‘Cause nothing’s worth losing   
Especially the chance to make it right   
\-- **_When We Die” by Bowling For Soup_ **

 

(6/13)

 

It looked strange without all of Chris’ knick knacks and pictures.  It had only been two weeks since Chris had left, but it was still odd to look over at his desk and see it empty, and later to see it with someone else’s stuff on it.

It seemed almost wrong that he had been replaced.  He had been such a big part of her life these last few years.  On the other hand, she knew he was happy where he had gone.  He was a police officer and detective in a small town in Alabama near where he had grown up.  He sent back pictures, and called at least once a week.  But it wasn’t the same.  Not for her, who missed her adopted baby brother, or Pride who had lost the closest person to a son he had.  The others also missed his optimism. The woman who replaced him didn’t have the same personality or humor that Chris had.   It was different and they hadn’t yet adapted yet.

Still, she supposed Percy might have been the worst affected by the change.  SHe hadn’t asked what had happened between the two of them.  Things had been different all year, but the two of them had had a falling out within the last month or two of Chris leaving.   
  
She hoped the two of them made it right soon.  

 

* * *

 

 

_ What happened to the someday, what happened to the dreams of a wide-eyed kid _ _   
_ _ Don’t tell me that it’s too late, don’t tell me that I can’t ‘cause you never did _ _   
_ _ I’m sitting in the same spot counting every tick tock _ _   
_ _ Gotta hit the punch clock, when’s it gonna stop _ _   
_ __ Another day in black and white, I gotta quit this ordinary life   
**\--”Ordinary Life” by Simple Plan**

(6/15)

When he was a kid, Chris LaSalle had a plan with what was going to happen in his life.  He was going to finish high school, marry Savannah and go off and have adventures. As he got older, he started being interested in solving crimes and became a cop much to his father’s dismay.  But it didn’t really change his ultimate dream.

However, after the last three years, he finally decided it was time to start living that dream.  He had enough saved away to survive a few months traveling around the country, just living and experiencing.  He was just tired of watching his family, those blood and those chosen, repeatedly get beaten up by fate. And maybe a little tired of being beaten up himself.

When he handed over his resignation to Pride, the older man looked at him like he had been expecting this.  He wished him well, and told him not to be a stranger.  Chris didn’t intend on it.  Pride had become one of his closest friends.  Just because he was leaving the job didn’t mean he was leaving his family.  Sebastian and Pattan got together and made sure his cellphone and laptop had all the things he would need, including a gps tracker in case they needed to find him.  He was both amused and a little scared of why they thought he would need one.

Merri tried her best to convince him to stay, and when she realised that wasn’t going to happen, started sending him links on travel planning, safety, and he wasn’t surprised when James happened to write a article in his new feature blog for the paper on why New Orleans was the best place to find yourself.   Loretta was similar to Pride in that she accepted it, but made sure to remind him he was loved.

He knew that.  He loved them to.  Which was why he avoided discussing his impending departure with Percy till last minute.  He didn’t hide it from her, but he avoided the topic.  He wasn’t entirely sure why he didn’t want to talk to her about it, and he was very sure he didn’t want to look to much into that reason.

Either way, he was quite surprised when the day he was to go off on his first road trip (a two week plan through the gulf coast) that he found her standing beside his car, luggage beside her.

“Wasn’t about to let you go off by yourself, Country mouse,” she said as an explanation.  “With your luck you’d end up tied up in someone’s basement.”

 

* * *

 

 

_ I see you standing here but you're so far away _ _   
_ _ Starving for your attention you don't even know my name _ _   
_ _ You're going through so much but I know that I _ _   
_ __ Could be the one to hold you   
\-- **“Yours To Hold” by Skillet**

(6/20)

Laurel Pride had been sitting in front of him during their Intro to Government class for the last six weeks.  She never seemed to notice him, although she always responded with a warm hello when he greeted her.  His friends made fun of his crush, but he really didn’t care.  She looked like a fairy tale princess sometimes, and she wasn’t afraid to argue her point in class when she had one.  It had been amazing to watch.

Still, he was surprised to spot her at the local hangout pub.  He knew she was a music student, piano he remembered.  And the one time he had heard her play during a school event he had agreed she was really good at it.  However tonight she seemed to shy away from the piano, sitting in a back corner alone with a drink. 

At first he didn’t think he should go over and disturb her, she looked like she wanted some time alone, but then he realised that it was the perfect opportunity to introduce himself as something more than just the guy who sat behind her in a gen-ed class.

“Hey,” he stated as he approached the table, gaining her attention while inwardly wincing at how lame that had sounded.  But then again, was there anyway else to greet someone?  “I hope you don’t mind me coming over.  You’re the only person I recognize here.”  Which was true.  His best friend and roommate had already left with some girl he had met at the bar, leaving him to fend for himself.

She smiled softly, and he was pleased to note she didn’t seem annoyed at his interruption.  She pointed to the bench, indicating he could sit.  “Orion, right?”  She said with a smile.

“I didn’t think you knew my name.”  He said, surprised. 

“I have a good memory.”   After that the conversation seemed to flow naturally.  From his major, to her music.  She spoke of her parents and their recent split which had been the cause of her earlier melancholy.  He had been surprised she had trusted him so easily with that, but glad as well.  

It took him another three weeks to get up the courage to ask her out, but in the end she beat him to it.

 

* * *

 

 

_ Cause every time I ran, I ran to you _ _   
_ _ I meant it every time I said I loved you _ _   
_ _ I kissed the thought of you and I _ _   
_ __ I still regret the day we said goodbye   
**\-- “The Other Side” by Tonight Alive**

(6/23)

There were many things he regretted in his life.  Some minor, less major.  One of the major regrets in his life was letting her go.  He could have fought it, but he hadn’t.  He had let her slip away easily, hadn’t fought back like he should have.  He could tell that by the way they interacted now.  They hadn’t stopped loving each other, just had stopped working on staying together.

There were excuses of course.  Her issues following the death of her sister, and shortly before that their son.  His inability to put her as a priority before his job.  The fact that they couldn’t help the other grieve when they needed each other most.  With Emily gone, there was no one who could shoulder the gap between them and it just fell apart.  

He missed her when she wasn’t around.  Or maybe he should phrase it as he wasn’t around.  He was the one with the job that went to various places, she had a home now.  He was happy for her, happy to see her finally healing.  And it just made him realise how much he missed her even more.

When he finally came to the decision, it really wasn’t much of a surprise. He knew there were some changes he needed to make, including switching his visible priorities around.  He started looking into jobs in the New Orleans/Gulf Coast area, starting hinting at longer stays with her.  He wanted her to be okay with the idea of taking this somewhere more official.

Somehow he was still surprised when it was  _ her _ that brought up the idea of moving in together.  Still, he was quick to answer because he wasn’t going to let it pass him by once again.  He didn’t need any more regrets.

 

 


	23. June 2016 Prompts Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Meredith realises she is ready (Meredith/James)  
> 2\. Meredith learns a lesson (Meredith/Russo, Meredith/James)  
> 3\. James gets caught up in one of Meredith's cases. (Meredith/James with Pride)  
> 4\. Sonja watches over Chris. (Percy/LaSalle with Meredith)  
> 5\. Pride calls James to help Meredith. (James/Meredith)

_ 'Cause every time I ran, I ran to you _ _   
_ _ I meant it every time I said I loved you _ _   
_ _ I kissed the thought of you and I _ _   
_ __ I still regret the day we said goodbye   
**\-- “The Other Side” by Tonight Alive**

(6/23)

 

Meredith had known when she had ended things with James that she still loved him.  It had never been love that had been their problem.  Priorities had been their problem.  Trust issues had been their problem.  But never love.

Still, when he reappeared in her life she hadn’t expected how much she had needed him there. They had never truly lost contact with one another, but they had been conversing like minor acquaintances rather than two people who once thought they would spend the rest of their life together.

But then he came back, and she suddenly felt what it was like to have his friendship.  It was clear he wanted more, but he was willing to take what she gave him, and if that was friendship with the occasional benefit, he wasn’t going to argue with her.  And she appreciated that.

That had been two years ago, and as she sat here at Pride’s bar, watching him whip Chris’ ass in pool, she realised that she wanted more too.  She wanted more nights like this.  Nights with her friends, or knowing that at the end of the night they’d be heading home together.  Having him sitting on her couch surrounded by books and printouts as he wrote his articles.

She wanted him as her best friend, and she had that, and she knew she would never lose that.  But she was starting to realise she wanted her fiance back, that maybe she was finally ready to put trust in a forever again, as long as James was there with her to keep her from panicking and running too much.

He looked up at her and smiled, and something shifted in his expression as he watched her. He seemed to sense that her changed thoughts about them.  His smile grew,  He was always good at telling what she was thinking, other than those months after Emily.  

He soon went back to his game, but she knew something had changed between.  That maybe they had finally gotten to a good place.

 

* * *

 

 

_ Don’t look too hard for what you want _ _   
_ _ ‘Cause it could be on the tip of your tongue _ _   
_ _ You’re holding back like there’s nothing left to it _ _   
_ __ Could this be a false alarm   
**\--”Failure’s Not Flattering” by New Found Glory**

In the course of a few months, Meredith’s life had changed radically.  She had learned her sister had been murdered and had been charmed by a man who was a traitor to the government she served.  Both of these had left marks she felt like she could still see.  She felt like there was this cloud over her, bringing bad tidings wherever she went.

However for the first time in years she decided to stay and weather the storm.  To stop running.  To relay on her friendships she had formed here, the new family they had become.  If she needed someone to listen, she had Pride.  If she needed someone to distract her she had Chris and Sebastian.  Patton and Loretta to give her puzzles to solve.  Percy to gossip about anything that wasn’t life or death or anything related to their jobs.  It might be the same as distractions but it felt so normal that it helped her feel she was closer to normal too.

It also taught her that she might not get everything she wanted, but that shouldn’t stop her from grabbing what she can.  She and James would never be perfect.  He wasn’t her prince Charming, and she was sure if you asked him he’d laugh if they talked about her being a fairy princess.  But she loved him, and knew without a doubt he loved her.  They just needed to work on the other elements of a good relationship.  The trust they had lost but were slowly rebuilding.  The support they never wavered in giving each other.

Russo was a diversion from what she really wanted.  He seemed like he was perfect.  Charming, willing to make trips to see her simply because he wanted to.  She supposed he’d be the one she’d write down as what she wanted.  Except in the end he had been a pretty rotten apple, and she was still bleeding from that wound.  It gave her alot of perspective that perhaps she kept looking for the on paper perfect when she needed to just go out and grab what she already had, already loved and not be afraid of it.  Both in her friendships, in her home, and with James.

She just wished fate could have been a bit more gentle in the teaching of that lesson.

 

* * *

 

 

_ Never alone _ _   
_ _ When your hope has been broken _ _   
_ _ And the fear is unspoken but true _ _   
_ _ You’re never alone _ _   
_ _ Like a dream in a child _ _   
_ _ Or a childish dream in you _ _   
_ _ I’ll do anything that I can do _ _   
_ _ To show you my love and comfort you _   
\-- **_”Never Alone” by Jesse Bonanno_ **

(6/28)

The warehouse was empty when they arrived.  They checked room after room but found nothing till She stopped in what used to be the employee bathroom.  There, tied to a pipe and looking like he had been through quite alot was the man she was looking for.  

Ignoring protocol, she rushed forward as she called the others.  She lifted his head and her eyes met his bleary ones.  

“You are going to be alright,” she said, biting back the tears that wouldn’t do them any good right now.  SHe didn’t know if her words would be true, but she had to say them for both their sakes   As the others rushed into the room she started checking him over for injuries.  She frowned as they started to build up in a list.

Pride tried to get her to step aside but stopped at the look in her eye, allowing her to remain until the paramedics were to arrive.  He hadn’t even been involved in this case.  He had been on vacation,  without her, outside of new Orleans.  Yet, somehow her work had followed him and now he was tied to a pipe unable to answer her questions, just stare at her like she was a mirage.

She kept from crying though.  She couldn’t let him see her cry.  Then he’d know she might be lying.

“You are going to be okay.”

 

* * *

 

Cause the hardest part is holding on,   
When everything has come undone   
Yeah everybody needs someone   
So when you gonna come lift me up?   
When you gonna come lift me up?   
Don’t let me go.   
\-- **_”Don’t Let Me Go” by The Summer Set_ **

(6/29)

For the longest time they weren’t sure he was going to wake up.  The Doctors looked more worried every day he went without waking, but still kept hope in their voices.  Even though she and the others could tell they were almost lying.

It was so stupid.  He had been pointing out a lead, but they all had brushed him off thinking it was too far from reality, too much of a leap from what they knew for fact.  In the end he had gone by himself to check it out.  Unfortunately he had been right, and they arrived at the scene to find him laying in a pool of blood on the ugliest carpet she had ever seen.

She focused on the carpet because otherwise she’d have to focus on the memory of him bleeding to death.

Still, she found herself by his bedside every day, trying to figure out why he had gone alone.  She was his partner.  Sure she hadn’t quite bought his theory, but if he had asked she would have gone with him.  Things had been strained between them lately but she hadn’t thought things were so bad he wouldn’t let her come as back-up.  

“You should go to sleep,” their colleague stated, putting a hand on her shoulder.  She looked up at her, wondering how to argue with that.  She was exhausted, not feeling much like sleeping when he might never wake up.  “I’ll watch him.  Go.”  She saw something in her friend's eyes.  Understanding that this was more than just what it seemed like.   She did not judge, just supported.

She squeezed her friend's hand and nodded before glancing back at the man in the bed.  He’d be safe with her.  

 

* * *

 

 

_ Hold me together when I feel like I might fall apart. _ _   
_ _ Promise you'll never lose the pieces of my fragile heart, _ _   
_ _ And if it breaks will you rebuild it better than the start? _ _   
_ _ Just promise me _ .   
\-- **_”All I Need” by Courage My Love_ **

(6/30)

Meredith had told him about the leak at work, how she was investigating, but both of them had been so busy in the last few weeks he hadn’t heard from her again.  So it was surprising, for a moment a bit terrifying, to find Pride calling him.  Pride assured him that Meredith was physically fine, but that she had a rough couple of weeks and he felt she could use all the friends around her that she could get.

He understood that.  He wasn’t sure Merredith would enjoy the fact that Pride had gone behind her back to call him.  He wasn’t even sure how Pride had his phone number, but he wasn’t going to ask.  Luckily his assignment was a long term one on the EU resolution, so he was able to fly out to New Orleans without putting off his work. Considering it was Merredith, he was pretty sure he would have come if it had been a problem too, but he was happy not to have that to worry about.

He decided to surprise her, getting a cab from the airport and going to her apartment.  When she opened the door he could see why Pride had called him.  To those who didn’t know her, Meredith Brody looked like she had not a care in the world.  Those like him, and now Pride, knew her well enough to know that she was starting to break down inside.  She seemed to have no words for him either, and simply allowed him to pull her into his arms.  

That was proof enough that he was right in coming.

 


	24. July 2016 Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Merri's thoughts as James is leaving  
> 2 Merri in the Aftermath of the Season 2 finale  
> 3\. Merri/James when they move back together (post season 2)  
> 4\. Fluffy Merri & LaSalle moment.

_ This dependency _

_ Will shatter me _

_ Bitter, broken me _

_ If you’re the rain _

_ I’m a window pane _

_ The one you touch before _

_ You leave another day _

\--”Bitter, Broken Me” by As It Is

 

(7/2)

  
  


He was leaving tomorrow. She couldn’t get that out of her head. Tomorrow life would go back to the same-old, with her going back to work after dropping him off at the airport.  They would be going back to their separate lives.  THe last two weeks had been wonderful, the two of them touring the city, her showing him her favorite spots. Spending quiet evenings doing crossword puzzles and James attempting to show he could cook now.  

She didn’t want him to go, and that scared her.  She didn’t like to think she was dependent on his presence that much, that it held such a hold over her happiness.  Especially after being tricked so well by Russo.  The fact that James had taken the time to come spend some with her afterwards meant a lot, but it didn’t help her not feel less afraid.

She didn’t know how to explain this to him, this fear of depending on someone else.  How the fact that he was wrapped around her now felt both comforting and added to the fear.  She didn’t want to try and cope with the loss of this feeling afterwards.

So instead she kept silent, choosing to enjoy these last minutes with him, and dealing with everything else later.

 

* * *

 

 

_ Oh, Clouds of time _

_ Seem to rain on  _

_ Innocence left behind _

_ It never goes away _

**\--”Kristy, Are You Doing Okay?” by The Offspring**

She sat in her tub, arms wrapped around her legs as she let the warm water beat against her head and shoulders.  She felt so cold inside right now.  The events of the day just kept repeating themselves in her mind.

She had been betrayed.  She had watched as her friends were put in danger, and then was nearly killed herself by a man she had thought the day previous to a potential future.  And then she had shot him.

Everyone seemed sure she’d be cleared, but she couldn’t see it.  She wasn’t even all that sure herself if she had killed completely out of self-defense.  She suspected a little of it had been righteous anger at his betrayal.

But her friends were safe.  She was safe.  And the leak was sealed for now.  That had to make it worth it.

 

* * *

 

 

_ But I thought that I should tell you _

_ If it’s not too late to say _

_ I could put back all the pieces _

_ They just might not fit the same _

**\--”When We Die” by Bowling For Soup**

(7/6)

Living together this time around was different.  She had expected that, but it still caught her by surprise sometimes.  They had both changed, both by experiences and the scars they carried. They had dealt with those differently, and nine years was a lot of time to change.

The worst parts were where things were eerily similar to before, but just off a little.  You would go into a situation and expect a certain reaction and find they reacted differently. And it wasn’t just his changes, she realised she had changed too in ways she hadn’t noticed till she had their past to compare it to.

Like when they had first gotten together she had always taken the right side of the bed, but she got so used to being by herself that she had started sleeping in the middle.  Adjusting to being with someone else had moved her to the left.

It was little tiny things, but it was just a reminder that they had wasted 9 years apart.  She didn’t know yet if those 9 years had been worth it or were just the two of them fighting what they knew to be right, but she hoped it was worth it.  

There might be differences, but that same feeling of happiness was there.  

 

* * *

 

 

_ I love you and everything you do _

_ These two words mean what I meant to say with three _

_ I love you never felt so smooth _

_ And all I can say is I love you _

**\--”Olive You” by Dave Days ft Kimmi Smiles**

(7/8)

She had asked LaSalle to check her phone, since she was driving and didn’t want to miss a text from Pride or Percy as they drove to their latest suspect’s house to interview them. She turned to look at him quickly before turning back to the road after he didn’t start reading it off.

“What is it?”

“I think your boyfriend wants you to go to the grocery store after work.”  LaSalle sounded a bit confused.  “Although what the hell would you use olive juice for?”  She couldn’t help but smile and then laugh.

“No, it's not a grocery list. It's a cutesy way of saying I love you.”  She glanced over again.  “Basically when you say Olive Juice, your mouth makes the same movements as if you were saying I love you.”  She didn’t have to look at him to know he was testing that out.

“Huh, interesting.  Doesn’t quite work over text.”

“No, but I know what he’s saying.”  She grinned.


	25. July Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Percy & LaSalle Fluff  
> 2\. Couple of choice  
> 3\. Merri & James (James- Genovia verse (a fic coming soon)  
> 4\. James/Merri angst

_ Let’s get the TV and the radio _

_ To play our tune again _

_ It’s ‘but time we got some airplay _

_ Of our version of events _

_ There’s no need to be afraid _

_ I will sing with you my friend _

**\--”Read All About It” by Emeli Sande**

(7/09)

“MMMAAAMMMAAA, JUST KILLLLED A MANNN”  Percy tried her best not to laugh, but it was hard to as LaSalle belted out, poorly she might add, the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody. “PUUT A GUN AGAINST HIS HEAD. PULLED THE TRIGGGGGERR NOW HE”S DEAD.  C’Mon, Sonja, sing along.”

“Ah, no.  You are doing just fine making a fool of yourself by yourself, Country Mouse.”  LaSalle grinned broadly at her.  He continued on singing loudly as they drove down the highway.  It got even worse when the next song came on and he stated making up his own lyrics because it was one he wasn’t familiar with. ‘

It became even more hilarious when their two year old daughter started to sing with him.  Of course, she didn’t know what half the words were so was making more sounds than actual singing.   Still, she may have song it better then LaSalle.

However she was happily singing with her Dad, and if Percy snuck a snap video to send to Brody, well, she’d never say.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_ It'll wear you down and wear you down _

_ You chase it breathing in and out and in and out _

_ Push you up against the wall, against the wall _

_ You didn't think you'd feel it all but you were wrong about it _

**\--”Push” by Marianas Trench**

(7/10)

She couldn’t help but laugh as he pressed her into the wall. This seemed so...teenager of them, to be making out outside of a club.  But she didn’t care at the moment, only caring about holding him close and enjoying this. She could still hear the chuckles of their friends that followed them outside the door.  

She let him go long enough to meet his eyes, pleased to see he seemed equally uncaring about the fact that their age, they probably shouldn’t be making out in public like this.  Not because she didn’t think people their age should make out - she was all for it - but they didn’t quite have the flexibility and strength anymore to meet the requirements of sex against a wall.

That and she probably shouldn’t be caught indecent in public given her job. That being said, it was him who finally pulled them away from the wall and towards her car.  

 

* * *

 

_ No I’m not bulletproof but _

_ See I can take your cheap shots ‘cause I’ve been through a whole lot more _

_ And I know a good thing _

_ And I’m not letting you go, there’s so much that you don’t know _

**\--”I’ve Got You” by What’s Eating Gilbert**

(7/12)

She knew his words were meant to cause pain.  It didn’t stop them from actually causing pain, but it kept her from letting it stick to her.  She took a deep breath and carried on, trying her best to ignore him till he was out of danger.  Till the pain dwindled and his desire to push her away lessened.

She was not about to leave him to deal with this alone.  She loved him, for better or worse, and although they had never made it to saying those vows, she still meant them.  She was going to be there for him, even as he tried his best to make her go away, to make her abandon him to his misery and bad mood.  

Sooner or later he would realise that, realise that she would take everything he threw at her because she loved him, and she knew this was temporary. They would get through this together, just as she knew it would be the same had the positions been reversed.  He wouldn’t have left her either.

  
  


* * *

 

_ You see her when you fall asleep _

_ But never to touch, no never to keep _

_ 'Cause you loved her too much _

_ And you dived too deep _

**\--”Let Her Go” by Passenger**

(7/13)

Letting her go had seemed like a good idea at the time. They had been fighting so often at that point it seemed inevitable.  They had stopped talking, and eagerly spent work time away from each other.  What had been a loving relationship was burning to ashes in the aftermath of their son’s, and later her sister’s death.  They just couldn’t hold on anymore.

Except, years later, he found himself still waking up expecting to find her.  Still wanting to call her and tell her about some strange or funny sight he saw on his travels.  To hear her listen to him while a pen scratched on paper as she did her crosswords.  

He realised too late that he couldn’t just fall out of love with her.  He couldn’t go and try and win her back, not after letting her go the way he had, but he still loved her.  He wanted all the happiness in the world for her.

Which is why he let her choose to keep their relationship open, and then later end it when she found herself in love with someone else.  He stayed her friend, even though it hurt to watch her with someone else.  But he was a good man, he couldn’t hate the guy, and he made her so happy that he happily attended their wedding a year later.

Still, as he watched them dance their first dance, he couldn’t help but know he still loved her, that wasn’t going to change.  But it was too late, and he could live with that only because he knew she was finally happy, and had finally found that element that helped her move past what had held them both down.


	26. July 2016 Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. James writes a letter  
> 2\. More James Angst (Pre-show)  
> 3\. Merri post Russo  
> 4\. Couple of choice

You can take up all my time 'cause you're the only one

That can make a storm cloud break, pulling out the sun

And I can't get caught in the rain

Can I get your lips to speak my name

\--”Love Like Woe” by The Ready Set

 

(7/16)

 

_MB,_

_Today is the fifth anniversary of Emily leaving us.  I’m stuck on assignment in Cardiff, but it isn’t enough to distract me from the memories.  Of Emily, of Us.  Of what we let go of.  Nothing particular reminds me of her here, although I’m sure she would have loved taking to the town.  She always did love investigating new things. I think that was what made us friends at first.  We both had too much curiosity.  Daniel always had to bring us back from getting too curious._

_Of course once they brought you in, we both had our equalizer, the person who could keep us from running off the cliff in our attempts to find things, figure out how they work._

_You used to say my name in this certain tone that told me without words that you thought my idea was crazy.  Like that time I suggested we try to find the New York catacombs, see if that rumor about actual cities was true.  You looked at me like I was crazy (I was, I’ll admit) and then said my name with your “Rethink your life choices” tone.  In the end I think instead we went camping.  Less adventurous, but a good deal less sewers._

_Sometimes I miss even hearing you say my name like that.  Or hearing Emily call me at 3 in the morning to help convince Daniel to let her do something.  I miss the four of us._

_I miss you._

_J._

 

* * *

 

 

_'Cause every day I try and forget about you_

_Every day I try_

_And Every day I'd die just to let you know_

_That it's too late_

_And I won't wait for you_

**\--”Everyday” by Brighter Brightest**

(7/18)

It had been five years, and he couldn’t forget.  Oh, he tried.  Tried to forget all the happy memories before all the bad ones.  Tried to forgot what it felt like to wake up next to her and watch her sleeping for a few minutes.  She never stayed sleeping for long and most of time got up before he did.  He tried to forget how used he got to having someone by his side who could read what he was trying to say without uttering a word.

But here he was five years later, standing in the town they had first met and realising he was never going to get over her.  Over what they had.  He might eventually be able to work around it, find a compromise of happy with someone else.  But he couldn’t truly let go of her.   It would be unfair to anyone else.

Part of him wanted to go to where she had gone, to confess he still couldn’t get her off his mind. Still reached for his phone to call or text her when he came across something funny, or something important happened in his day. But he knew better. He knew from their mutual friends she was happy now.  She had found a new home, somewhere she could be herself and find happiness.  And she didn’t need him messing up.

So he drowned the realization down with whiskey and hoped that tomorrow he would forget and once again try to force her out of his mind and heart.  For both their sakes.

 

* * *

 

 

_Another turning point a fork stuck in the road_

_Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go_

_So make the best of this test and don’t ask why_

_It’s not a question but a lesson learned in time_

**\--”Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)” by Green Day**

(7/19)

 

She tried to see it as some sort of character building event in her life.  Something she would look back at and be proud of how she handled it, but it was hard to when it was still so fresh in her mind.  The bitter feeling of betrayal, the cold metal of the gun in her hands, the numbness when he fell to the ground.

It cycled through her brain over and over again as the days went by.  She tried to see how things could have been different.  Could she had figured him out sooner.  She felt like she had almost been personally targeted.  If Sonja had gone to DC, would he had tried to seduce her like he had Meredith?  She didn’t know. She didn’t know if he would have charmed Chris or King.  They hadn’t seemed to like him very much.   

Of course King saw him as a hinderance to the investigation, and Chris was more wrapped up in whatever was going on between him and Sonja to really think about Russo more than give him the brotherly disapproval.  Sonja had just been happy that she had found someone.

Someone indeed.  And now she waited for judgement on whether she was thought to have been in the wrong.  None of her team thought so, and she knew Gibbs and his team didn’t think so either since the man had called her a few days into her leave to let her know that the story was circulating the DC branch of NCIS.

Still, none of these people would decide.  And only time would tell if she would look back on this moment with any sort of distance or if she would be proud of what she did.  She certainly wasn’t at the moment. The urge to run from it filled her, but she choose not to.  She decided to stay with the family she had chosen, to stop running.  Running never kept it away anyway, as she had long learned with Emily.

 

* * *

 

 

_ It’s a beautiful night and I’m opened up _

_ The look in your eyes says so much _

_ Nothing can touch us out here _

_ Don’t know where we are but I know I see _

_ A beautiful girl walking next to me _

_ I need to hold you, my dear _

**\--”Tonight , I Love You” by The Latency**

 

(7/23)

 

When he had said he had plans for them that night, she hadn’t expected a midnight picnic.  Somehow he had found a spot with a clearing and had set up a picnic blanket with tiki torches around for light and she supposed to keep the bugs away.  Food was off to the side, thankfully all store bought.  She might love this man, but a culinary maestro he was not.  He had a few recipes he could make that were absolutely fabulous, but somehow most of anything else he couldn’t seem to get.  She was mostly amused by it.

She figured everything was worth it when after they ate, they laid back on the blanket and looked out at the stars.  It was a comfortable silence, and quite comfortable as he had brought a long pillow and an extra blanket in case it got chilly.  However, it was a balmy night so they both lay beside each other, their hands clasped together silently watching the stars.

She stole a moment to look over at him and realised she was happier than she really thought she would be.  This seemed so not their style, they were more the movie or TV dinners in front of Game of Thrones up on her laptop. But somehow he had made this more traditional date idea a bit more them.  They had bottles of sparkling water instead of flutes,  and deli made hoagies instead of anything fancy. Yet it was perfect because it was them, and the sky was clear.

She leaned over and kissed his check before laying back on the ground and looking up at the stars, trying to see if she could identify any of the constellations. 

 


	27. July 2016 Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. James gets married, but not to Merri  
> 2\. Pride gets some Advice  
> 3\. James and Merri make some promises  
> 4\. Pride and Merri talk about her leaving

_ I heard that you’re settled down _

_ That you found a girl and you’re married now _

_ I heard that your dreams came true _

_ I guess she gave you things I didn’t give to you _

**\--”Someone Like You” by Adele**

(7/26)

She didn’t know why she was here.  Why she had thought this was a good idea.  It was true that the two of them were close friends, best at times, it probably wasn’t the best idea to attend the wedding of your ex-fiance.

Especially when it reminds you that you haven’t quite gotten over him.  And it's harder yet when you feel guilty about your own feelings because the bride is a really great person.  If Merri had been tempted in the least to be with a woman, she imagined Darcy would be the type she’d go for. She even was a lot like Merri in some ways.  She was a detective for Scotland yard, dealing with cases that crossed borders.  She was tall, a brunette, and looked at James like he gave her the answer to life.  (If the fact that he was about to turn 42 made her laugh, she wasn’t going to admit that to anyone).

Darcy had greeted her like an old family friend, inviting her to family events before the wedding, and it didn’t even seem like she was concerned James would find his ex appealing, for she even pushed them to do things on their own.

But here she stood at James side, wearing a really nice black dress to match the suit his brother was wearing.  Watching as he finally made it down the aisle and said his vows.  She was glad she couldn’t see his face.

She didn’t say a word though.  James was happy, happier than he had been since Emily died and things started going south for them.  She wasn’t going to stomp on that.  Especially since she wasn’t sure she’d ever want to actually get married.  

Apparently her team across the Atlantic must have sensed her mood, because during the reception she kept getting really bad puns from Chris, Percy kept sending pictures of guys in kilts she could run off with, and Pride kept a conversation going about a Case they were working on even though it was mindless chatter.  She loved those three so much for being there for her in their own ways.

Still, watching James dance with Darcy made her wonder about the what-ifs.

 

* * *

 

 

_ Yeah we’re all wonderful, wonderful people _

_ So when did we all get so fearful _

_ Now we’re finally finding our voices _

_ Just take a chance come help me sing this _

**\--”Read All About It” by Emeli Sande**

(7/27)

“Do you mind if say something,”

Pride raised an eyebrow at the man who had come to do an evaluation of his team.  “I’m not stopping you,” he finally said.  

“Outside my report, which pertains only to professional matters, I noticed something about your team.”  Pride shifted backwards in his hair, prepared to listen.  “Your team has a remarkable way of compartmentalizing their traumas, but while it appears to assist them in their occupations its a bit....of a deterrent in their personal lives.”

“I’m not sure that's any of our business,”  Pride said. The other man was unaffected by the protective tone Pride had taken to.  He had already assumed that Pride had taken to being the father-like figure in this assembled family, just as Loretta Wade had taken to being the mother.  

“The details, no, but I saw a pattern. Agent Brody pushes people away to keep her life in boxes, prepared to pick up and leave at any moment should the occasion call for it.  This team and her ex-fiancee seem to be the exceptions to this rule.  Agent LaSalle uses humor, but tends to not focus on his own self-interest when it comes to safety and ignores how that can effect others.  Agent Percy simply ignores what she doesn’t want to acknowledge.  And you, Agent Pride, tend to ruminate, but only to focus on things that aren’t necessarily the real objective.”

“Thats a lot of details.”

“I’ve been doing this a long time, Agent Pride.  You start to pick up on things such as that.  Like I said, it doesn’t affect my evaluation of your team on a professional level, but I think all of you should work on the personal aspects.  As much as it heightens your professional behavior, eventually the imbalance will affect you in negative ways.”  With those final words the man nodded in salutation and walked out the door, leaving Pride in his wake.

 

* * *

 

 

_ We stuck it out this far together _

_ Put our dreams through the shredder _

_ Let’s toast ‘cause things got better _

_ And everything could change like that _

_ And all these years go by so fast _

_ But nothing lasts forever _

**\--”Here’s To Us” by Halestorm**

(7/28)

He handed her a beer as he passed her deck chair, the two of them enjoying a nice beach holiday for once.  Granted, he was on vacation, she was in the process of rediscovering what career she wanted.  But all that could wait a few days while they both recharged and healed from the last few weeks.

Still, he had to ask.  The possibility had been bugging him since she had arrived at his door saying she was ready for a full time try.  Was she really ready, ready as he was,or was this just a kneejerk reaction to the massive amount of change going on her life.  He was something old, something comfortable.  Maybe she just wanted something steady for awhile.

When he did ask, she looked at him over her sunglasses like he had just said the Tower of London was made of tea bags.

“Yes, I’m sure I want this.  I’ve been thinking about this for awhile, we both have.”  She stood up and switched over to sit at the end of the chair he had sat down on shortly before asking. “You are the one person I have been able to count on in the last decade.”

“That really doesn’t dissuade my question.”

“I love you.  I never stopped loving you, despite trying, and you know I tried.  You happen to be the love of my life as well as my best friend and even if my professional life hadn’t gone to hell in a handbasket because of Powers that Be thinking kicking me out would solve their PR problems, I’d still be here, saying I'm ready.  Saying I want this.”

“I just had to be sure,” he explained. “I’m not sure I can go all the way with this again and still make it out the other end if this ends.”

“I can’t promise anything except that I plan on making this work.  Making this permanent.  It's all you can promise me too.  After everything we’ve been through, all this time, can you accept that promise?”

He pulled her down to him in the chair, wrapping his arms around her, careful not to spill either of their drinks.  He rested his forehead on her temple.  

“I can accept it.”

 

* * *

 

 

_ Excuse me, your honor and jury, pass all your judgment _

_ I’ve been examined, interrogated my entire life _

_ I never look at your verdict, but bailiffs, sometimes they read them _

_ And when I hear your thoughts on me, I want to personally say _

_ When you doubt me, it makes me better _

_ When you hate me, it makes me stronger _

**\--”One More Round”**

(7/31)

“I’m not running.”  She said, knowing what Pride was thinking as he held her resignation in his hand.  “I’m tired of running.  But I’m not about to let myself get pushed.  I’m going to make my own exit, my own way.”

“You don’t know that is what the result will be.”

“You are more optimistic about it then what is good.”  She smiled at him fondly.  “I made this decision firmly, Dwayne,” she added, using his first name as emphasis on how little she would be moved.  “For the first time in awhile I’m going to stop letting my past dictate my future.I’m done letting people judge me for things out of my control”  In fact, for the first time in a while she felt like she had the control.  She felt calm and sure in her decision.

“What is your plan?”

“At first?  Take a vacation.  Explore New Orleans like a real tourist.  Then maybe sign up with the CGIS.  They’ve made an offer.”  There were other possible plans, but she hadn’t thought thouse through yet.  Hadn’t figured out all the variables.  But she knew what she wanted now.  “I plan on making New Orleans my home still.”

Pride nodded.  She could tell he still wanted to argue, but respected her enough to let her make the decision.  “Don’t make yourself a stranger.”

  
  



	28. August Prompts 2017 Part 1

You can't get rid of me that easy no, not without a fight

Your cool and collected approach is appealing yeah, you got it down just right

You should put a blindfold over my eyes and tape my mouth shut

When every word I say might as well be, might as well be my last thought

\-- _”Right Where We Left Off”_

 

James had a plan, and he wasn't sure if it would work, but it was the only thing he could think of.  He would ease Meredith back into the idea of them being together, just the two of them.  He’d swing by New Orleans a little more often.  It wasn’t as hard as he had originally thought doing that.  He had a powerful motivator and thankfully his job as of late had been wonderfully accommodating.

He hoped it worked, this slow path to showing her they could do it, because he was finding himself further in the hole with no way out.  He had never fully fallen out of love with her, but before he had been at least able to make it through.  He was pretty sure if their third time wasn’t the charm he was going to be a mess afterwards.

She always seemed cool and collected, as if she was unaffected, but every once and awhile she would look at him and he’d get that brief glimpse of hope, that maybe she felt it too, that maybe all the games would be over and they’d stop calling it an occasional hook up and starting calling it what it really was for him.  A relationship.  Hell, he’d walk down the aisle now and call it a marriage if she wanted.  But he knew her better than that.  It would be quite a while before she was ready for that, and that was only if she finally accepted that they could try this full time again.

BUt he loved her, and it was worth at least trying.

 

* * *

 

 

First comes heavy breathing

Staring at the ceiling

What will happen next

I don’t wanna know

\-- _"Don’t Wanna Know”_

The night was quiet, but comfortable as they lay there curled into one another, a single sheet covering them.  The fan really was the only sound, which was so different than what she was used to.  But then she rarely lived outside a city.  And here they were in some rented cabin -thankfully a more modern home then the rustic style she had expected when he had said they were coming there.  The cabin was located away from the lights and the sounds of the city, and she could hear herself think with the only things around her being him, and a few insects singing the song of their species outside the window.  Although she really couldn’t hear them over the fan that was keeping the air from getting too hot.  

It was late spring, and the summer was already starting to heat up, and she hoped it remained as cool as it had been the last few days while they were away.  Modern amenities or not, the cabin didn’t have AC and she didn’t want to spend the whole weekend sweating in a less enjoyable way.

She turned her head to look at him.  He was sleeping, one arm over her waist, while the other rested under his head.  She could feel his slow even breathing against her shoulder. They had come here to talk, to try and figure out where they wanted to go from here.  After the last few months, what with her leaving NCIS for NOPD and he contracting a life-threatening illness, they had realised they needed to rethink some things,including where they stood with one another.

She knew that in his bag was an engagement ring.  She had seen it when he had been pulling out his toiletries when they had gotten ready for bed that night.  She was trained to observe things, catch things out of the corner of her eye.  She slid out from underneath him, making sure he was still asleep.  He was still worn out from being sick, he needed all the sleep he could get.

She walked over to the duffel he had brought, which was still sitting on the chair beside the bed.  She unzipped it slowly, reached in and took out the ring.  Opening the box, she was surprised to find her old ring, the one he had originally hit in a bowl of cereal.. She looked over at James, who apparently rolled over onto his stomach now that she wasn’t in the bed, taking it over.  She had to smirk, both at his predicament and the idea brewing in her head. She finally felt ready, and waiting for him to make a move was making her nervous so she was going to make it for them.

She slipped the ring on, tossed the box back in the bag before zipping it, and then returned to bed, nudging James till she had adequate space to sleep.

She wondered how long it would take him to notice.

 

* * *

 

There was starring in seclusion, a fine tuned way of motion

A face wrapped for a suitor, the sound of hearts pumping at the same beat

Coming round the corner in almost all directions

A sense of heat that I couldn’t bear to touch, no I couldn’t bear it.

_ \--”It’s Not Your Fault” by New Found Glory _

He knew that there were other people in the room.  In the distance he could hear their voices, but it was like all his senses were being used up by her.  She stood a few feet away from him, dressed up more then usual, so he supposed the lack of familiarity was what hit him first.  He had always found her beautiful, so tonight was no different in that regard.  But finding her beautiful everyday made it become something of background noise, something always known but not brought to the surface.

Tonight just highlighted it back to the foreground.  She smiled at him and walked over.  She wore flats, which he could understand.  They were all at this party for networking purposes.  There was going to be a lot of standing and a lot of moving around.  Flats seemed more sensible than the heels she liked to wear to these kind of events.  Her dress was black, with purples, blues and reds swirling around her skirt like she was the center of a galaxy  (He would tell her except she’d smack him for making such a cheesy line.  She’d love it, but it was still cheesy).   She had let her down, wavy and her makeup was slightly heavier than normal.

“You look beautiful tonight,” he said, smiling down at her as she reached him. 

“You have to say that, it's part of the marriage license.” She teased. He grinned wider.  That was something new, that she was his wife now.  Nothing had really changed except some paperwork and some new jewelry.  But he loved the fact that he could call her his wife and people would know him as her husband. They had been through so much the past few years, he couldn’t even find the words for how happy he was that they had reached this point.

“Still true.”  He took her hand.  “Want to grab a dance before we start smooshing?”  Her grin joined his.

“Lead the way.”


	29. August 2017 Prompts Part 2

Catalyst you insist to pull me down

You contradict the fact that you

Still want me around

And it's all downhill from here

_ "All Downhill From Here” by New Found Glory _   
  


It didn’t make sense that they kept finding each other, kept coming back when they knew it wouldn’t work.  She would run scared, or he would turn apathetic and let her run, and they’d be back at square one till the next time they couldn’t handle being apart anymore.

She loved him, and she knew without a doubt that he loved her.  Love had never been their problem.  Trust, maybe.  Mostly in their own selves.  She couldn’t trust herself to stay, he couldn’t trust himself to prioritize. 

So they kept crashing together, spliting then crashing together again.  And each time she could tell it was getting harder to know how they;d make it out again.

One of them needed to break the cycle. Either end it for good, stick to friendship  (or not, although it made her feel like she couldn;t breathe to think fo him totally out of her life), or throw in the towel and fix whats broken so they stuck together this time.

Unfortunately, she felt he might have to be the one.  She felt like her whole world was upside down, and she needed her best friend.  She needed him to know what she needed, and to know when the time was right to push forward and get them to where they needed to be.

 

* * *

 

 

I missed you, those weren’t your words

Seeing you became a charm

And everyday I wish I could

Every day I say your name

When I fall, when I hit the bottom

_ "Eyesore” by New Found Glory _

He wasn’t sure what he had expected. He knew this would be a bad idea.  She had moved on, was happy and had even found a new niche for herself.  But he couldn’t resist seeing her again, kissing her.  She had wanted this too, but their conversation before she left this morning told him it wasn’t the same.  Not for her.

He was still in love with her. Still wanted that happily-ever-after next to her. But the truth was she didn’t.  She wanted him, sure, but that was simple lust, simple biology.  There was a little of past affection, but he knew the difference. When it came to the less simple aspects she wanted nothing to do with it.

The part of him that was her best friend recognized she was still running from all that happened.  Losing Ben, loosing Emily.  Then of course the  _ Moultrie _ .  She had left and not looked back. That part of him understood, and wanted to tell her everything would be okay. 

The other part of him, the man who was in love with her, wanted it to be mutual.  Wanted her to tell him she hadn’t stopped being in love with him either.  The best friend almost always won, but at this moment, still laying on the bed, alone, he was finding it hard.  Even more then before he realised this could have been a huge mistake.

 

* * *

 

 

Look them in the eyes, tell them what they wanna hear

Yeah, that's when everyone falls my dear

Look me in the eyes, tell me what I wanna hear

You know I'll never fall for it

_ "Summer Fling, Don’t Mean A Thing” by New Found Glory _   
  


There was a reason she didn’t tell him where she was going.  She knew the instant she looked at him she wouldn’t be able to go through with it.  It was hard lying to them all.  Pride had looked so disappointed in her for running, as if he knew what she was doing but wasn’t going to tell her what to do.  Chris and Percy just looked sad.  Sebastian tried to convince her to stay.  Loretta had hugged her and told her there was always a home waiting for her.

But she didn’t call him because she knew he would see through it, and unlike Pride, he would call her on it.  She hadn’t expected him to find her so soon, however, and she imagined Pride hadn’t quite left it to chance.  When she opened her motel door in a little town just north of the Pennsylvania border to see James she was surprised enough not to say anything.

He didn’t say anything either, just moved into the doorway and wrapped his arms around her.  All of a sudden it felt like everything was let loose.  This was why she couldn't’ tell him.  He would know she was breaking down.  It wasn’t just running anymore.  It was trying to keep her head above water and not knowing how.

“I’ve got you,” he murmured into her hair as she cried into his shoulder, closing the door behind them and moving them towards the bed. 

 

* * *

 

 

 


	30. August 2017 Prompts Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one actually disqualifies as its 529 words long. I am guessing the version I posted to the challenge was somewhat less (as the goal is under 500), but I don't have that version anywhere.

I know everything reminds you of me

Even the songs you thought I'd never sing

I know you'll mess up your hair

I know you'll do things you would never dare

But it all coincides in some way

_"Make Your Move” by New Found Glory_

 

She’s in London for the week visiting Merri. It was really nice to see her friend, to see her thriving at her new job, with the life she had established in here.  Merri had been so broken when she had left New Orleans, she was happy to see the old Merri, the Merri that had first been her friend, come back.

However, now that she was at the club, things felt...awkward.  Not between her and Merri. It was watching Merri settle in beside James in one of the booths near the back,  the two of them totally comfortable in each other’s space, even as they held conversations with other people.  It reminded her too much of the issues she had back at home.

Namely her relationship with Chris. She had realised long ago that her feelings for Chris were more than just professional or platonic.  But she had been firm in sticking to the platonic side of things.  Especially when it appeared Chris felt the same way.  Except recently things had made her reconsider her stance.

Watching Merri being happy made her want that.  Want the ease of being in a relationship with your best friend.  Which, she might as well admit it, Chris LaSalle was.  It was clear that they loved each other, but could function as separate human beings.  She had always worried that if she allowed things to go forward they might not have that space.

But she was reconsidering.  She blinked out of her thoughts as the bartender handed her a tray with the drinks she ordered and she brought it back to the table, stopping a few feet away in surprise at what she saw.

Sitting to Merri and James’ right was Pride, who was apparently telling a hilarious story as Merri was practically falling over laughing and James had this huge grin on his face.  A Merri story then.  She turn her eyes to space beside James and found her eyes catching a familiar set.

“Well, if I had known better I would have gotten more drinks,” she stated as she set the tray on the table.  She raised an eyebrow at his direction, but it was Pride who answered the unspoken question.

“The higher-ups decided to do an audit of the office, so we decided to get out of their hair and visit.”  The look on Merri’s face told her that at least she had been aware of it.  “I thought Brody told you.”

“No, she kept that to herself.”  And probably made sure that the only space left in the booth was beside Chris.  She sat down, and found herself unintentionally against him.  There wasn’t any space to give to him so she just settled in as if she didn’t notice.  She looked up at him and found her decision made.

Plus his face when she wrapped his arm around her shoulders was priceless.


	31. August 2017 Prompts Part 4

I wake up in a waiting room with the taste of blood and a clouded view

I notice there is a tear in my jeans, the sleeves of my shirt have been ripped from their seams

My memory is a little bit blank, the thought of my name doesn't seem to come back

And I turn and scream "what am I here for?" The nurses yell "you were left at the door"

I'm a stranger, someone left me for dead, and I need to decide what to do next

_"Listen To Your Friends” by New Found Glory_

Amnesia sounded like a cop-out.  Like he was in some twisted story.  They keep telling him in most cases it comes back eventually, but it's been six months and he still can’t remember.  Even with the treatments his doctor has been giving him to help unblock the memories of who he was.

He couldn’t remember anything before waking up in the hospital looking like someone had beat the hell out of him.  They couldn’t find any brain injury, so they assumed that the amnesia would go away.  Most of his injuries were superficial and were easy to heal.  However he still didn’t have his memory back.

Oh he would get flashes.  But nothing concrete.  A woman with dark brown hair came up most often.  He wondered who she was.  He tried to sketch her once - found out that at least one thing he could know for sure was that he did not have any artistic talent.  It was his only tie to his past, along with crossword puzzles and gumbo, which always brought back an image of an older man smiling with a spoon in hand over a big pot.

* * *

I wake up in a waiting room with the taste of blood and a clouded view

I notice there is a tear in my jeans, the sleeves of my shirt have been ripped from their seams

My memory is a little bit blank, the thought of my name doesn't seem to come back

And I turn and scream "what am I here for?" The nurses yell "you were left at the door"

I'm a stranger, someone left me for dead, and I need to decide what to do next

_ "Listen To Your Friends” by New Found Glory _

 

It was hard to believe what they told him.  That the reason he didn’t remember was because of some drug.  They gave him a list of things he was, but none of it felt true.  They claimed that the drug would wear off, but since he had been on it so long, kept on it by doctors paid by the drug manufacturer this James person was supposed to be was investigating it would take longer than usual, be harder on him.

He already noticed his hand shaking a little.  Still, he stayed quiet while they talked, tried to reach for whatever connected him to what he was hearing, but nothing came.  Not until after Agent Pride left, a comforting hand on his shoulder.  He was replaced by someone else, and he hadn’t looked up for the first few minutes.  When the new officer hadn’t said anything he finally did, and it was like a punch to the stomach.

The woman he had kept seeing in all those dreams, those memories that filtered through.  She was standing in front of him, pale as if she had seen a ghost.  And somehow, without knowing why, he found himself standing and holding his arms out to her.  It seemed like the right action as she rushed into his arms.  Her sobs were only known by the shaking of her body and the wetness of his shirt, but he only held her closer.

She smelled of earthy things, vanilla and cinnamon maybe.  It seemed familiar.

And for the first time in a long time, he felt hope that things would turn out right.

* * *

 

 

You knew that I was a pushover,

So you pushed me right over the edge.

I must say you've never looked so good in black.

But, did you mean it?

_ "Anthem for the Unwanted” by New Found Glory _

She’s being haunted.  She knows, realistically, there is a very small change that he is actually there haunting her, that its more likely stress manifesting itself as hallucinations and sensory illusions but it feels real.

It's been six months since he died.  Since he took off after an argument they had, following a lead he had caught that she had thought to be unneeded.  She had been completely wrong.  She had driven a few minutes later, allowing herself a few minutes to calm down after he basically ignored what she had said would have been the better lead.  Then she had climbed into her car, and drove to the location of the suspect that he had been so sure of.

She had arrived to hear a gunshot and to find him laying on the floor, a puddle of blood that made clear the likelihood of him walking out of there alive slim surrounding him.

She was there in time to watch him die as they waited for the ambulance to arrive, her attempts to staunch the bleeding useless.

And now he haunted her, stood in the corners of her eyes, watching her as she worked.  At home it was even harder, as she could almost hear him speak, could feel the touch of his hand on her shoulder.

She wondered if he really was a ghost if he was there because he was mad at her still for that argument that had him leaving without her as backup. Or was he watching over her,  that look in his eye she tried to ignore for so long.

 


	32. August Prompts Part 5

But how can I believe any words that she says to me

When everything comes out wrong

She's built and torn down anyone that gets close to her heart

To her heart

_ "So Many Ways” by New Found Glory _   
  


“It's not going to work,”  he states, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorway of her room.  “This whole distancing yourself thing,” he clarifies as her look.  “It doesn’t work on me, its too late.  I know you too well for that to work.”

“I’m  _ fine,” _ she responds, going back to her packing. 

“Bullshit,” He stood up and walked into the room, sitting next to her on the bed.  “You are not fine.  First of all, after what you’ve been through the last few months no one would be fine.  Second of all, as I said before I know you too well to buy that you aren’t affected by all this.  Sure you aren’t in a corner rocking while you sob, but that doesn’t mean you are fine.”

“That's a little over dramatic isn’t it?”

He rolled his eyes. “Are you ever  going to talk about it?”

“THere is nothing to talk about.”

“There is a lot to talk about.  About your sister, about Russo.  About quitting.”  He tilted his head, observing her for a moment.  “I’m not going to force you to talk about it.  I know that doesn’t work, but stop acting like I don’t know things aren’t fine.  They don’t have to be.  And even if they were, I’m here either way."

 

* * *

 

 

Yes, I got your address from a friend   
It was a matter of life and death   
Something I needed off my chest   
So can we meet tonight   
But I don't wanna fight   
Don't wanna leave 'til we're alright   
Remembering everything that was said   
Remembering went right straight to my head   
_"Whiskey Rose” by New Found Glory_

When she opened the door the person she least expected to be there stood inches away from her.  She couldn’t even form words through her shock and a bit of fear.  They hadn’t ended things well between them.

“A mutual friend told me where you were,” he stated without even saying hello.  “I figured you and I needed something better then a voice mail.”  She moved to let him in, not knowing what else she could do.  He was right, he deserved more than a voice mail telling him she was leaving.  She knew who the mutual friend was.

She would be having words with him later.  Although she knew he probably did it out of love for her.  He knew she wasn’t having an easy time letting go of her past.

“I suppose you want to know why.”

“That would be a start.”

 

* * *

 

 

Visions of red   
I never thought that I could get here   
In the past the pain would blind me   
And at times I’d wish you dead   
Now I see a picture clearer than the morning   
To you I was a monster   
And you had to save yourself   
_ "Stubborn” by New Found Glory _

They found her still alive, but barely a week after she had gone missing..  The suspect had her laid out on a long table, hands folded over her chest, her outfit and hair laid out to make her look like a demented version of Snow White.  He had even dressed her in a costume.

They managed to get her to the hospital in time, but the killer had gotten loose in route, and disappeared.  They all remained worried about her, about whether he’d come and try and finish the job.  They took shifts watching her room while the others looked for the man who had nearly killed her.

She woke up from her coma screaming, not knowing where she was. It took awhile for her to realise she was safe, that the person holding her was a friend, not a foe.  She burst into tears, worn out and still fighting the adrenaline that had rushed her system.  He held her tight till she calmed, slipping back into sleep, telling her they would get the guy.

  
When the next shift started he went straight to the office.  They were going to get that bastard today.

 

* * *

 

 

You pierce my heart, it useless, I don't even really need it   
It belongs to nobody other than you   
You can cut off my tongue, I'm speechless, a defeatist   
And I'm wasting away, to nothing at your feet   
\--”Reasons” by New Found Glory

  
  


“Wouldn’t you want that kind of romance? Her sister asked her, sighing as she watched the man on screen being a bit over the top with his profession of love.

“No,” she replied with certainty.  “I want someone who loves me, not some pedestalled version of me.”

“You need more romance in your life, sis.”

“You can have my share, thanks.”  She smiled at her sister.  This argument happened more than once.  Emily had always been the romantic, and while Merri wouldn’t call herself a non-romantic, she was a bit more pragmatic about it.

“There is this guy...”

“Oh, not this again.”

“Hey, hear me out. There is this guy that Daniel met, he is going to be at the party at Georgie’s house this weekend.  I want you to meet him.  He’s really cool and has a sexy accent.  I think he’s right up your alley.”

“You really need to stop matchmaking me.  Just because you found your happily ever after doesn’t mean I need to find one just this second.”

“Give him a chance.  If nothing else, he’s going to be around alot now that he and Daniel are getting along so well.”

“Fine, but don’t be surprised if it doesn’t work out.”

Emily was gracious enough to limit her I told you sos to a smug smile when Merri and James did hit it off.  


End file.
